1) Sunday, I thought, went pretty well. The service ran over (a common occurrence when we add an element like a video or drama), and the sermon was a bit too unwieldy (gotta love teens in the front row yawning as you are wrapping up), but overall I really meant what I said. Your life is interesting enough to people to be the entry point (eventually) to speak to issues of faith. I find fewer and fewer people showing up at church cause they made a commitment to Jesus at a crusade, camp meeting, or in their house either after hearing a televangelist speak or talking with someone who knocked on their door to talk about Jesus. The norm here is folks engaging friends or family in conversation, and that conversation leading ultimately to a faith-commitment. In a world where people feel increasingly uncertain about the safety of their neighbors, real, genuine concern and respect will take us far in conveying the message of the gospel. I said it, and believe it to be true.
2) I think that while "Mad Men" is getting a lot of love from TV critics starved in the summer, it moves pretty slow. It's shot beautifully. The set and costume work is impeccable. It must smell like a big ashtray, the cigarette smoke think in an attempt to help us get a good glimpse into another era that we may, or may not, have lived. But it still moves pretty slow. Previews of future look promising, so I'll stick with it as the only show on TV I'm currently following... but if it doesn't start picking up soon, it's off to pre-season football on Sunday nights.
3) If you didn't read the comments section of the last post, you need to do so. Friends of the "Office", Aaron and The Thief through in couple of other good chucklers. Here a few more things you never want to hear as a pastor:
- Mrs. Peabody, next time you read this scripture at worship, the word is "phylacteries", not "prophylactics"
(that one actually happened to me once... you try preaching a sermon after hearing an older lady mistakenly read the word "prophylactics" in a packed sanctuary on Sunday morning).
- "Weren't you going to collect an offering today?"
- "Well, the reason you don't understand that scripture is because you don't know anything about aliens or UFO's."
- "There's a process server out here looking for the music director."
- "I find the defendant, guilty on all charges."
Let me know if you come up with any others.
4) I think that by week 8 Brett Farve will wish he had stayed retired and taken Green Bay's 25 million dollar bribe to stay on the sidelines. That last playoff game he played last year he looked like he was totally out of gas. What shape will he be in after a season of not only playing in New York (and it's fishbowl) but also learning a new offense? It's too bad it had to go this way.
By the way, I promise that when I retire, that I'll stay retired. I know you were worried. Don't worry that pretty little head of yours. When I'm done, I'll be done.
5) Speaking of football, I haven't made it public news via the blog or any medium (hence Brother Esq being surprised when he heard) but I will be in L.A. for the OSU/USC game in September. Eric the Buckeye made the invite, and since I've only seen the Bucks on the road at Indiana University (which was so poorly attended it might as well have been another home game.... except they wouldn't have ran out of food at the Shoe in the 2nd quarter) and Purdue (Michael Jenkins' big catch that propelled them as a team of destiny in a National Championship year), I thought I'd save my funeral and wedding money and give 'er a whirl. I'm sure I'll break out the occasional "Didn't OJ go to school here?", "Yes, Pete Carroll has done a good job. He'll make a NFL team very happy next year."and maybe even a "Kick their Booty!". I'm looking forward to it very much, and feel very blessed to get to go.
6) Stayed up late watching hours of badminton. This is why my wife hates to watch the Olympics with me. When we lived in Toledo during the Winter Olympics back in '98, all I watched was curling. Hours and hours of curling. My wife, who lives for girly sports like gymnastics and figure skating was incensed. She just couldn't grasp the subtle fine points of one of the world's finest sports. When to brush the ice and not brush the ice. How hard to throw the stone. Where to aim it. There's a lot of strategy to it, and since we were watching the Canadian Broadcasting Corp's coverage (which shows the sports, as opposed to all the commercials and athlete profiles on NBC), they explained them to us.
In detail. Suffice to say that if I lived in a town with an ice rink, I think my chances of one day competing in the Winter Olympics would be significantly higher.
Anyhow, the badminton was great! I'm hooked. However, I'll have to buy a set so that, among other things, Xavier will no longer be distressed that they hit a "birdie". Ah, my soft-hearted child.
7) Have you got the itch to go see the Passion Play in Oberammergau in 2010? I do. Stay tuned.
8) Wednesday, I'm leading "Ride and Dine" for our Holy Rollers biker group. I do this once a year, and if you show up it is truly the only time where we could legitimately get lost. I mean, very lost. You don't want to miss that kind of adventure. We may end up somewhere where can get something to eat, too. Come on out for an adventurous ride.
9) I read the article on Rick Warren in this month's issue of Time Magazine. It was good, but it left me scratching my head. Fact is that a lot of churches and Christian organizations were trying to achieve the PEACE (which stands for promote reconciliation; equip servant leaders; assist the poor; care for the sick; educate the next generation ) initiative Warren has set forth, and have been trying to do so for a good many years. They just never got an article written about them.
Of course none of them ever sold millions of books or hob nobbed with heads of state. Do that and saving the world becomes news.
But considering that Warren got religion on social justice ministry pretty recently (2003, according to article) - as did virtually all these evangelicals who are now stumping for one cause in Africa or another - I think the broader story, which Time missed, was how quickly the Christian landscape has been changing over the last decade. I mean, this was the magazine who has recently as 2001 wondered aloud if T.D. Jakes was the next Billy Graham. Bishop T.D Jakes - a man who preaches that God wants his people to be rich, and proves it by jetting around in a private Gulfstream jet. Now America's latest "Bill Graham" gives away all his book royalties and is trying to turn Rwanda into a "purpose-driven nation".
Ah, the difference a decade makes.
The cynical part of me says that the real reason for the progressive shift among the Rick Warrens and Bill Hybles is that as their congregations aged, they realized that in order to keep attracting young people they had to modify their theology and practice. The huge mega-churches that grew up during the me-centric eighties is finding itself having to re-create itself in the 21st century, and part of the re-creation involves acknowledging the role globalization is playing not just in economics, but on our perspective. Hence the intensely personal theology which contributed to the "church-goer-as-consumer" approach to building churches on the backs of entertaining worship and providing all kinds of goods and services to various niche demographics, is now being forced to ask the question, "Should we have used "the mall" as a metaphor for the ideal church in the first place?" in a world where consumerism is being identified as an ill.
I watched the genesis of this as I kept going back to Willow Creek for various conferences and worship services. In the nineties, for example, nobody who was overweight or looked strange was allowed on the stage during worship (something church leaders would openly boast in their "how to do it like us" conferences). All the singers, musicians, and the like were perfectly dressed, blow dried, smiley and happy.... just like the band on the Lido Deck of the Love Boat. The church boasted every kind of ministry its constituency could want (mostly self-help stuff) and a huge food court, the crown jewel of which was a full-functioning Starbucks.
15 years later all of this changed. The band members dressed like, well, serious rock musicians... which is to say that they had just rolled out of bed. The smiley happy worship leaders were replaced by a grungy looking worship leader who looked serious... as if the worship service in the morning was the most important thing happening in the world that day. Ads to get people involved in one cause or another were posted all over the joint. The Starbucks in the lobby was replaced by "Mr. B's Coffee", which served all fair-trade, shade-grown, organic coffee. As Whole Foods and Wild Oats grew in popularity in West Barrington, Willow began to drink the koolaid... or rather, the organic, grown-on-a-farm-using-unionized-labor kiwi java cooler.
And the same, I'm told, is true of Saddleback, which was at one time the place to see and be seen in Orange County, California... which ain't exactly Compton or the LBC. Slowly the church has transitioned from the "God has a purpose for you" place, to the "God wants to save the world from poverty, war, and disease" place. Was it theological, or a functioning of marketing as my generation rejected the Boomer ethos of self?
Who knows. Ah well... I suppose it shouldn't matter. Whether it was a real spiritual epiphany or church leaders positioning themselves differently to reach the desired 18-35 market. As long as the cause of justice is served. Let's just never forget that justice isn't always fashionable, for I fear in the world of "what's now", this too shall pass.
10) Finally, I just signed up for this season's version of Fantasy League Football. I've been playing in the same league with my brother's friends now for six or seven years. My team name? "Farve From Over". Needless to say, I will most likely be trounced for the sixth or seventh year in a row. As the oldest member of the league (by a good decade or more), I get constantly abused by a league who posts things like "The Rev just tried to pick up Kenny Anderson" and "Rev, can I borrow your leather helmet from high school?"
As always, though, I will soldier on, because, although old, I am Farve From Over!
I'm like fine wine... I just get better with age.
Monday, August 11, 2008
Thursday, August 07, 2008
Ten Things You Never Want To Hear Said As A Pastor
1) "Oh I wouldn't call that sermon boring..... long-winded and pompous, maybe, but never boring."
2) "We, as the Finance Committee, can sum up our long-term strategy for financial planning in one sentence: "Put it all on 'red'".
3) "This part of the service is sponsored by the Ohio Lottery, who ask you to take a chance on education."
4) Um, this is the fire department. We need to talk to you about your youth group's bonfire tonight...."
5) "Yeah I'm a long-time member. When did you become senior pastor?"
6) "This part of the service is sponsored by Butterworth and Son Attorneys At-Law, specialist in divorce, foreclosure, bankruptcy, and personal injury. If you've ever suffered a neck or back injury during an exceptionally long sermon, we want to hear from you."
7) "I really like the new waterfall in the sanctuary."
8) "No. No. No. Not our pants! I said we were going to remove all our PLANTS outside the main entrance."
9) "Please accept this gift of a one-way ticket to Dust Falls, New Mexico, as our congregation's way of showing how much we appreciate your leadership."
10) "What's that smell coming out of the nursery?"
2) "We, as the Finance Committee, can sum up our long-term strategy for financial planning in one sentence: "Put it all on 'red'".
3) "This part of the service is sponsored by the Ohio Lottery, who ask you to take a chance on education."
4) Um, this is the fire department. We need to talk to you about your youth group's bonfire tonight...."
5) "Yeah I'm a long-time member. When did you become senior pastor?"
6) "This part of the service is sponsored by Butterworth and Son Attorneys At-Law, specialist in divorce, foreclosure, bankruptcy, and personal injury. If you've ever suffered a neck or back injury during an exceptionally long sermon, we want to hear from you."
7) "I really like the new waterfall in the sanctuary."
8) "No. No. No. Not our pants! I said we were going to remove all our PLANTS outside the main entrance."
9) "Please accept this gift of a one-way ticket to Dust Falls, New Mexico, as our congregation's way of showing how much we appreciate your leadership."
10) "What's that smell coming out of the nursery?"
Thursday, July 31, 2008
And Ten More....
Ten more Facebook friends in the last two days, so here are ten more things:
101) Megan Croy: Megan's father, Bill, did two tours of duty at Trinity UMC in Lima. The first occurred when I was a but a wee lad. Thus, even though she is a mother and pastor who's been out on her own awhile, I generally think of Megan as being about 3 or 4 years old and am always shocked when I see her, and she isn't. What's this mean? I am a total idiot.
102) Lindsay Hefner: We have two Lindsay Hefners at Shawnee UMC who are about the same age and grew up in the church. It's very confusing. I think, if we'd been smart we would have set up a watermelon seed spitting contest between these two when they were five, and the winner would have been able to keep her name. The loser would have been the subject of a "choose this girl's new name contest". People could submit as many suggestions as they wanted for a dollar per suggestion, and then we could have drawn the winner. If this Lindsay Hefner would have lost, I would have suggested we name her "Sloopy" so that every time "Hang On Sloopy" played she could stand up and dance, driving her friends into a frenzy. I guess that's why they don't put me in charge of these kinds of things.
103) Tyler Deitering: Tyler attends Shawnee UMC and Spencerville HS, but generally on different days.
104) Tyler Hollis Derryberry: What to say about Tyler...... He owns his own therimin, which he bought from a mail order catalog and had to assemble himself. He plays in a band that once opened for The Melvins. While fronting his former band, "The Rancid Yak Butter Tea Party", he once wrote a song named "Thelonious Monk Surf Helmet". He is a strict vegan who will tell you if you are sitting in a Denny's wondering what in the world he eats that there is plenty of food in the world he can eat just none of it is at Denny's. He is passionately inclusive and welcoming of others on the margins of society. He's a good friend. He lives in Boston. He works a 9-5 job, but only cause it pays the rent. His brother works at a zoo in Orlando, his mother is a librarian, and his father is running for judge in Allen County.
105) Lisa Deakins: Will always be Lisa Shaw to me, because (once again) I am not a bright man. Apparently people do get older even if you aren't around to watch them get older. Lisa is married, living in Indy, has two kids, and works in a chemistry lab coming up with antidotes to poisons crafted by super villains because she works for Batman.
106) Jennifer Lynne Logan: J.L. (my nickname for her since she was but a wee lass) is another former Shawnee youth groupite (like Lisa and Tyler.... Sloopy was too young to have been corrupted by having me as her youth pastor) who is now living in San Diego. Like Davy, she was in the Navy, but she probably won't be for life. J.L. loves animals, Jesus, and apparently after an experience at the Cochella Music Festival, Pink Floyd. J.L. also loves her Mom and sister, and misses her Dad.
107) Russ Cottle: Russ is probably wondering why in the world I invited him to be a Facebook friend. It's cause I knew both his older brother and sister pretty well when we were all kids. Russ was the youngest, quite a bit younger than Robyn and John, and in those days was called Rusty. Now he's married, a father, and living in St. Louis.
108) Kim Sharp: I did Kim's marriage ceremony. I can't remember much about it though. See, I was in the middle of 44 hour Rock-a-thon and hadn't slept in a couple of days. Also, while I did her wedding the kids in the youth group slipped "Dazed and Confused" into the VHS player. I don't know if it was the sexual content, language, or drug use that compelled me to take it out when I returned (and also ask the parental chaperons what the heck they were thinking), but that's the only Rated R movie I ever showed my youth as a youth pastor (except for "Falling Down"... we did watch that one too). Kim is married, has a set of twins, and lives in Spencerville. Her mother has a direct line to God (no foolin').
109) Mike Gossard: Married one of the Elmquist girls. I'm not sure how their father, Ed, survived having three daughters who were all popular with the guys and couldn't be locked up in the house. Mike and his family live in Sidney, where he is active at Sidney First UMC (Chris Heckaman's church). I got to know him while working together on a Habitat for Humanity house built so long ago it was made out of stone. It was located next door to Barney Rubble's digs.
110) Jeff Rempe: Jeff is an old friend from High School. We were in band together, and bowled briefly together on "The Coconuts", the world's worst bowling team. Instead of bowling shirts (which, unlike today, were completely uncool) we wore Hawaiian shirts because they were loved by the ladies. Or maybe we were just too cheap to buy other shirts. No matter. Jeff works for the power company, is active at Lima Community Church of the Nazerine, and lives in a house with a pool. He was so cheap in high school that once he refused to loan our friend Bubba two cents needed to buy a milkshake, so if you need money, don't bother asking him for a loan.
That's it. No more. Consider this chapter closed.
101) Megan Croy: Megan's father, Bill, did two tours of duty at Trinity UMC in Lima. The first occurred when I was a but a wee lad. Thus, even though she is a mother and pastor who's been out on her own awhile, I generally think of Megan as being about 3 or 4 years old and am always shocked when I see her, and she isn't. What's this mean? I am a total idiot.
102) Lindsay Hefner: We have two Lindsay Hefners at Shawnee UMC who are about the same age and grew up in the church. It's very confusing. I think, if we'd been smart we would have set up a watermelon seed spitting contest between these two when they were five, and the winner would have been able to keep her name. The loser would have been the subject of a "choose this girl's new name contest". People could submit as many suggestions as they wanted for a dollar per suggestion, and then we could have drawn the winner. If this Lindsay Hefner would have lost, I would have suggested we name her "Sloopy" so that every time "Hang On Sloopy" played she could stand up and dance, driving her friends into a frenzy. I guess that's why they don't put me in charge of these kinds of things.
103) Tyler Deitering: Tyler attends Shawnee UMC and Spencerville HS, but generally on different days.
104) Tyler Hollis Derryberry: What to say about Tyler...... He owns his own therimin, which he bought from a mail order catalog and had to assemble himself. He plays in a band that once opened for The Melvins. While fronting his former band, "The Rancid Yak Butter Tea Party", he once wrote a song named "Thelonious Monk Surf Helmet". He is a strict vegan who will tell you if you are sitting in a Denny's wondering what in the world he eats that there is plenty of food in the world he can eat just none of it is at Denny's. He is passionately inclusive and welcoming of others on the margins of society. He's a good friend. He lives in Boston. He works a 9-5 job, but only cause it pays the rent. His brother works at a zoo in Orlando, his mother is a librarian, and his father is running for judge in Allen County.
105) Lisa Deakins: Will always be Lisa Shaw to me, because (once again) I am not a bright man. Apparently people do get older even if you aren't around to watch them get older. Lisa is married, living in Indy, has two kids, and works in a chemistry lab coming up with antidotes to poisons crafted by super villains because she works for Batman.
106) Jennifer Lynne Logan: J.L. (my nickname for her since she was but a wee lass) is another former Shawnee youth groupite (like Lisa and Tyler.... Sloopy was too young to have been corrupted by having me as her youth pastor) who is now living in San Diego. Like Davy, she was in the Navy, but she probably won't be for life. J.L. loves animals, Jesus, and apparently after an experience at the Cochella Music Festival, Pink Floyd. J.L. also loves her Mom and sister, and misses her Dad.
107) Russ Cottle: Russ is probably wondering why in the world I invited him to be a Facebook friend. It's cause I knew both his older brother and sister pretty well when we were all kids. Russ was the youngest, quite a bit younger than Robyn and John, and in those days was called Rusty. Now he's married, a father, and living in St. Louis.
108) Kim Sharp: I did Kim's marriage ceremony. I can't remember much about it though. See, I was in the middle of 44 hour Rock-a-thon and hadn't slept in a couple of days. Also, while I did her wedding the kids in the youth group slipped "Dazed and Confused" into the VHS player. I don't know if it was the sexual content, language, or drug use that compelled me to take it out when I returned (and also ask the parental chaperons what the heck they were thinking), but that's the only Rated R movie I ever showed my youth as a youth pastor (except for "Falling Down"... we did watch that one too). Kim is married, has a set of twins, and lives in Spencerville. Her mother has a direct line to God (no foolin').
109) Mike Gossard: Married one of the Elmquist girls. I'm not sure how their father, Ed, survived having three daughters who were all popular with the guys and couldn't be locked up in the house. Mike and his family live in Sidney, where he is active at Sidney First UMC (Chris Heckaman's church). I got to know him while working together on a Habitat for Humanity house built so long ago it was made out of stone. It was located next door to Barney Rubble's digs.
110) Jeff Rempe: Jeff is an old friend from High School. We were in band together, and bowled briefly together on "The Coconuts", the world's worst bowling team. Instead of bowling shirts (which, unlike today, were completely uncool) we wore Hawaiian shirts because they were loved by the ladies. Or maybe we were just too cheap to buy other shirts. No matter. Jeff works for the power company, is active at Lima Community Church of the Nazerine, and lives in a house with a pool. He was so cheap in high school that once he refused to loan our friend Bubba two cents needed to buy a milkshake, so if you need money, don't bother asking him for a loan.
That's it. No more. Consider this chapter closed.
Monday, July 28, 2008
100 Things I Think I Think
Hit a milestone today. I cracked 100 "friends" on my Facebook page. The strange thing about this is that I only had about 50 friends about two days ago. But, somebody added me, and then another, and then I added a few back, and PRESTO.... we're at 100 friends in no time flat.
So the question is, do I know one thing about each one of my 100 Facebook friends? We'll give 'er a whirl.
1) Jaziel Agunia: Amada Cooley's nephew who lives in Mexico. A talented musician and Latin heartbreaker.
2) Dean Altstaetter: Former youth and contemporary music director at Shawnee UMC and current member of the Hepcats.
3) Dave Beckett: UMC pastor whose lived in Alaska since 1992. Married my wife and I.
4) Jacob Berns: Bernsie is in a couple of my fantasy sports leagues. He's a college buddy of Brother Esq.
5) Troy Blubaugh: Former member at Shawnee UMC who was in my youth group back in the day. Was good friends with his folks who I dragged all over creation as counselors.
6) Craig Broadwater: Goes to our church, and his son Wade is a Marine.
7) Shelley Montgomery Buch: Former youth groupee at Shawnee back in the day. I did her wedding, which is notable in the fact that two days before it was supposed to happen, straight line winds knocked down all the power poles on Shawnee Road stretching a mile north and mile south of the church. We had no power for two weeks. I had to call South Side Christian Church to see if we could do Shelley's wedding there. They agreed. Crisis averted. Bride goes from panicked to happy.
8) Rachel Burns: Current youth pastor at Trinity UMC in Lima where her father, Dave Harris, is the senior pastor.
9) Jenny Carson: Former secretary at the Beeson Center.
10) April Casperson: I have no idea who this person is, but I think I added her because she's somehow connected with the Methodist Theological School in Ohio (Methesco), where I completed my MDiv.
11) Jenna Elizabeth Chapman: A current member of Shawnee UMC's youth group who posts a lot of MySpace bulletins and loves her church.
12) Paul Chilcote: Currently a member of the faculty at Ashland Theological Seminary. Taught my first UM polity class at Methesco and provided me with some helpful info on Francis Asbury when I first started my doctoral dissertation (which reminds me, I still owe him a pound of coffee for his time).
13) Alicia Coltzer: Fellow Beeson Pastor, former carrel-mate, pastor in Houston, Texas at Shepherds Drive UMC, and the one who tried to teach me how to get in touch with my inner-princess.
14) Kevin Connor: Real quiet guy who's married to Michelle Mumma Connor.
15) Michelle Mumma Connor: Old friend who sometimes sings at my church, has refused repeated job offers on my part to work in our children's ministry, and secretly owns a lake house at an undisclosed location. Oh, I also sing the first line of the Beatles "Michelle" whenever I see her.
16) Joshua Cunningham: Program director for Clear Channel in Washington D.C. and former manager of OAR who grew up in Lima. Hangs with guys like 50 Cent cause he's of the entertainment world.
17) Nick Daniels: Friend of Eric Dill's who used to do some stuff with Shawnee UMC's youth group back in the day. I remember him as an unfailingly polite young man who was co-developer of the game "Torpedo Dads". The game was played on a trampoline, upon which a number of water-filled two-liter bottles (that had once contained Dads Rootbeer, hence the game's name) rested. The idea was to jump up and down in such a way as to propel the bottles into the groin area of your opponent. How can I make this up?
18) Julian A. Davies: Founding pastor of the University Church in Toledo and the smartest ordained Elder in the universe. I will bring him to Shawnee to do some teaching very soon.
19) Tina Dietsch: T is a former roommate of Alicia's, a former associate pastor at Trinity UMC, and a good friend who will not call you back unless you impersonate her Bishop and make her think she's in trouble.
20) Joanne Ha Dill: Married to Eric Dill, living in Boston. Met her once at the Star Spangled Spectacular about four years ago.
21) J Leigh Ditto: Current youth pastor at Shawnee who is expecting her first child and is a huge Buckeye fan.
22) Susanna Haines Donald: Married to Nolan Donald, fellow Beeson Pastor, and quite possibly the funniest person on the face of the planet. She has plans to write a book about her experience as a middle school English. If she does, I'll make sure you know where to get a copy. She writes a blog, but only close personal friends are allowed to read it (so there).
23) Nolan Donald: Currently the Pastor of Compassion Ministries at a big honkin' church in Houston who is about to be the founding pastor of a church named something like "WordServe UMC", a name which sounds stolen from Bill Gates. One smart funny dude who is a passionate Auburn fan. Too bad they haven't been relevant in college football since Bo Jackson took the backfield. "Bo knows two decades of futility."
24) CJ Dugan: Wife's cousin whose marriage ceremony I performed a couple years ago. Just welcomed his son Spencer into the world (congrats CJ and Jill).
25) Ann Dukeman Lehman: Former youth groupite at Shawnee back in the day, now currently living with her husband in Columbus. The baby of the three Dukeman sisters.
26) Trent Elmquist: Our families both went to Trinity UMC, but Trent was quite a bit younger than I. I knew his brother Kirk really well, and his sister Michelle (who is Craig Broadwater's wife) attends Shawnee and heads up our Centrum Decoration Team. He's a great guy.
27) Jonathan Epperson: Former member of youth group at Epworth UMC during my short 18 month tenure there. I remember he played soccer, had a sister, and liked to hang out with Kevin Gray.
28) Char Evans: Former youth groupite at Shawnee UMC back in the day whose wedding I'll be doing next June. Her grandparents used to own Clyde Evans Markets. The summer before I left for college I delivered pizzas for Dominos. Because the Evans knew me from Trinity, they used to request me as their delivery guy every Friday night when they had over friends play cards. They always left me a killer tip. There's a S-A-V-E in Evans!
29) Kim Faler: Former youth groupite at Shawnee UMC back in the day who liked Danny Kinley and whose brother, Brian, was a good friend in high school. Now she's an artist living in Amherst, Massachusettes. Check out her work at www.kimfaler.com It's good stuff! Buy yourself a Faler for your collection. I am. (seriously, I am!)
30) Whitney Fischer: Current member of Shawnee UMC and it's youth ministry. A fellow Spartan who is off to Ohio Wesleyan University in the fall to study Early Childhood Education. Together, as fellow Lima Senior alums, we make Facebook 40% cooler because we're on it. It's scientifically proven.
31) Ellen Dukeman Gartland: Sister to Anne, Ellen was by far the brightest student I ever pastored back in my days as a youth pastor. She pushed me theologically (in many ways that I couldn't explain until years after her graduation), pushed me ministry-wise (she started our tutoring ministry at the Bradfield Center), and did a good job pointing out the BS in Christian church (which she probably still does). Was living in New York working in the Advertising game, but I think is now moving elsewhere.
32) Rhea Gray: Former youth groupite at Epworth UMC in Toledo. A sweet girl who went to Kent State, and now is engaged and living in North Carolina. One of the truly good people I've met in my life.
33) Kevon Gray: Former youth groupite at Epworth UMC (brother of Rhea) who played drums in what was our awful, yet spirited youth band. Now active in ministry through The Vineyard in Columbus.
34) Kristen Harrand: Former youth groupite (a Beckstedt) who just adopted a daughter with her husband Greg. They live in Lima and attend Shawnee.
35) Greg Harrand: Married to Kristen, Greg just finished coaching the Jr. Acme Baseball team here in Shawnee with Eric Miller. A baseball team coached by an accountant and orthopedic surgeon. At least the stats were straight and all foot and ankle injuries taken care of immediately.
36) Kaylee Hayes: For the life of me I don't know who this person is. I think she's another Methesco person, but don't quote me (if she reads this, maybe she can tell me who she is, or maybe she'll just delete me down to 99 friends... only time will tell).
37) Seth Heckaman: Hang onto your hats Shawneeites. Remember Chris Heckaman, who was a pastor at Shawnee back in the day. And remember he and Lisa had a bunch of kids. And their oldest was this cute little boy named Seth. Well, now Seth will be a senior at Sidney High School, and he just started a ministry to help get children out of the sex trade in Tijuana. No joke. Feel both old, and impressed.
38) Keith Hefner: Son of Charlotte Hefner, my associate pastor, Keith just graduated and is heading off to Marietta College in the fall where he'll study and play baseball (in that order, if he knows what's good for him).
39) Elizabeth Hefner: Dauther-in-law to Charlotte, wife of Dustin, sister-in-law to Keith, and mother of Cade. Member at Shawnee UMC, and computer geek for the Shawnee Weekday Early Childhood Learning Center.
40) Katie Jackson: Youth pastor at St. Paul UCC in Wapak and drag racing freak.
41) Alaina Jenkins: Middle-school aged daughter of Steve and Anne who went to Middle School Lakeside, and, I am told, loved it.
42) Stephen Jenkins: Member of Shawnee UMC and volunteer in the youth ministry at the church, who is also a social worker at SAFY here in Allen County. He has a motorcycle in his garage, and despite the fact that gas is $4 a gallon, hasn't yet pulled it out into the sunlight.
43) Ann Jenkins: Wife of Stephen, she was the housemom for Shawnee UMC at Senior High Lakeside, which makes her special.
44) Shay Furness Kearns: When I first met Shay, Shay was a college student at Grace College majoring in youth ministry. I hired Shay as my youth intern. Since then, Shay has become a seminary student (who owns an Apple laptop whose power supply went kapluey this year, hence the former boss making an early graduation gift in March) at Union Theological Seminary (NYC). Shay is married to Steph, and living in New Jersey.
45) Jenny Kleffman: After a tough divorce, Jenny is now happily married with kids, living on the other side of Ohio. One of the first people from Goshen, Indiana I ever met, and long before I ever thought I'd live there.
46) Karen Kreutzberg: Former youth groupite at Epworth UMC. Her dad managed a theater that musicals and such somewhere in southern Michigan.
47) Logan Latimer: Currently in the Air Force, and stationed at Wright Pattterson Air Force Base in Dayton. He sometimes helps with our youth ministry and occasionally plays bass on Sunday morning worship.
48) Erik Lodermeier: A former part-time Shawnee youth groupite from back in the day who now lives in Colorado and knows a whole lot about music I've never heard of, but I am learning to enjoy (you are expanding my world Erik L).
49) Robert Lopez: I think Robert is an alum at Asbury.
50) Kara Lucas: The former Kara Hastings, I'm pretty much sure that I hadn't heard heads or tails from her for 15 years until she made me a Facebook friend. I had to go back into the wayback machine to place the face. A Shawnee youth groupite from way back in the day.
(whew.... gotta speed this up)
51) Thomas Lyons: Future seminary student who I wrote a multitude of recommendations for in the last two years. All I have to say is that given all the writing I did, he'd better do well in class. On staff at Vineyard Church in Sugarland, Texas.
52) Angie Lysght: Drawing a blank. Another Methesco student. I must have a soft spot for Methesco students.
53) Andy Machin: Former youth groupite at Epworth UMC who is now pursuing a MDiv at one of our 13 UM seminaries. I owe him an email. I promise to write and send it soon.
54) James Thomas Martin: Fellow Beeson Pastor, and founding pastor of a church in Katy, Texas. I bet if you met him a grocery store and talked to him for ten minutes you'd never guess he was a pastor. Not in a million years.
55) Andrew Maurer: Current slav... er, intern at Shawnee UMC. Hurt himself twirling at church camp. (sigh)
56) Jenna Mayer: Student at Bluffton University and all-around good egg.
57) Hayley Mitchell: My niece living in New Bern, NC. I don't care if she is 16, she needs to forget about boys, concentrate on her studies, and forget about boys. Likes to play HORSE with her overweight uncle.
58) Michelle Mitchell: My sister-in-law, and Hayley's mother. She's a nurse anesthetist, so essentially she gets paid to pass gas. Get ready Aunt Shelly cause the boys want to come see their cousins and the ocean. This won't come to pass this summer, but it's coming sooner than later. May you and your home be spared.
59) Justin Modica: Musician, chemist, graduate student studying stuff I'll never understand, and former part-time youth groupite at Shawnee from back in the day.
60) Jeff Moore: Site pastor for Life Church in Stillwater, Oklahoma. I used to babysit Jeff before he started nursery school. Man am I old.
61) Beth Moore: Sister of Jeff. Wasn't even born when I used to babysit her brothers. Man I am really, really old.
62) Nichelle Morris: We graduated the same year (1987) from Lima Senior High School. We ran in different crowds so I didn't know her all that well. But as fate would have it, I ended up moving in next to her father and mother three years ago. She lives in Atlanta and is recently engaged.
63) Travis Muse: Fellow Beeson pastor, baseball freak, father to two boys, and the senior pastor at Marlow UMC in Marlow, Oklahoma. The church he served in the appointment before Marlow was in Oklahoma City, and bigger than the city of Marlow. Pretty big change. Pray for his mother-in-law who is fighting cancer.
64) Steven Neidich: Senior at Shawnee High School who is in the band and active at our church. Will hate to see him graduate and leave next year. A great kid.
65) Lelah Norris: Student at Wright State University and grand-daughter to Marty Hutchison.
66) Amy Orwick: Ummmm.... I think I need a little help here.
67) Naveen Pai: One of the genuine unexpected welcomed surprises of this whole Facebook thing. Naveen played drums in Fpoon, which was a band made up also of Tyler Derryberry, Matt Parish, and Eric Hicks. Back in the day, Naveen used to come to church and play drums for us on occasion at youth group and at the worship service, which was a big deal cause his family is actually Hindu. I have a great story about him but I'll save it for another post) He eventually graduated from Stanford and I think is now working on a graduate degree in a field I'll know nothing about.
68) Matt Parish: Former youth groupite at Shawnee UMC from back in the day, he's now the lead lyricist for the post-punk band Ho-Ag. Based in Boston, Matt also writes and does other stuff to make a living. As a kid he was deep beyond deep. Still true today.
69) Joe Pisel: Another back in the day Shawneeite who was one of the notorious "Pisel Twins". Talk about keeping a youth pastor jumping.... yikes. Now, he's a father of a set of twins himself, and about to realize the full force of the verse, "you reap what you sow". Lives in the Lima area and works with his dad and twin brother in the sign business.
70) Kara Place: A fellow Spartan who graduated a year behind me (I think), Kara now is the choir director at North Middle School in Lima. Her show choir sang for our Older Adult group at Christmas. They were great!
71) Paul Rebelo: Pauly is the guy who rescued me from sleeping in my car when we went to seminary together way back in the early nineties. My dearest friend, I take no crap off him, and he no crap off of me. Has helped save my sanity as a pastor. Someday when the kids are grown, we will take a couple of weeks, disappear, and wreak havoc in some unsuspecting locale. That's all you need to know.
72) Tammy Jo Reiser: Current West Ohio Conference Director of Youth Ministry. Met her at Annual Conference this year.
73) Kent Reynolds: Kent Reynolds once baptized 3000 people in a remote part of Qatar in a pool he created with his staff in the middle of the desert. Kent Reynolds healed 200 lepers living on an island off the coast of India from his living room in Athens, Georgia on a bet. Kent Reynolds gives wisdom pointers. Kent Reynolds is the Pastor-In-Residence at the Beeson Center in Wilmore, Kentucky when he isn't walking on water or turning water into pecan pies.
74) Tyler Rhodes: Tyler just graduated from Shawnee HS, and will attend the University of Findlay this fall majoring in something, and also playing football. He told me once that he really likes hitting people, which is why he plays football. I'll just take his world for it cause he's a big dude.
75) Christa Roberts: One of my wife's best friends in High School. An accomplished harpist (who knew Lima Senior turned out harpists), she now lives in New Philadelphia, Ohio.
76) Ian Rockwood: Another one of Brother Esq's buddies in my various fantasy leagues.
77) Amy Roush: A fellow member of the class of 1987, her, I, and her twin brother are also all Miami University grads circa 1991. I used to hang out with them in elementary and junior high school when they'd stay at their Dad's house (he lived across the street) on the weekends. Their dad is a dentist, and his was the only house that gave out toothbrushes during Halloween. Amy now lives in Atlanta.
78) Darin Rumer: A really good-hearted but goofy kid, Darin was in the vaunted W-Squad of the Lima Senior High School Spartan Marching Pride. He ended up following a girl he liked to Bob Jones University, but I see on his Facebook page that he ended up graduating from Clemson in 1997. We need to catch up.
79) Andrea Sanford: Andrea is a wonderful person. She lived down the street from where I live now, but now lives in Nashville where she works in the record industry. She probably has brunch with Michael W. Smith and Dana Key on a regular basis. I hope she finds happiness in all she does.
80) Matt Scholl: Fellow Beeson Pastor and pastor of Aley UMC in Beavercreek UMC. I'm partially responsible for Matt jumping ship from his native South Indiana Conference to West Ohio by talking about him to a DS looking to pilfer Beeson Pastors to the WOC. Matt doesn't know this, but originally that DS wanted to appoint him to Shawnee UMC to be my associate (an idea I shot down by the way because, if anything, I should be Matt's associate). He has a wife and two kids.
81) Jennifer Shaw: A student and track/cross country runner at Ohio University because she apparently couldn't get into college (that joke, for a Miami grad, never gets old). Her mother is the organist at our church and her father is the chair of the Board of Trustees.
82) Keri Shryock: Keri and her brothers were youth groupites at Epworth UMC during my short tenure there. Her mother, a sweet, patient woman, had the unfortunate assignment of being my SPRC rep at a time in my life when I was very dissatisfied with my job. Sorry you took the brunt of that Mrs. Shryock. I am very, very sorry.
83) Brent Sloan: A former youth pastor at Shawnee UMC, we hired Brent fresh out of bible college. He was a great guy who loved the Lord, but was pretty green when it came to ministry. Just about the time he was just starting to figure out what he was doing, he left us for another opportunity (against my advice, I might add). But, married with a child on the way, he seems satisfied with the direction the Lord has taken him. A more faithful disciple of Jesus you will never meet.
84) Jenny Beckett Smith: Jenny is married, a student at United and on staff at Stillwater UMC in suburban Dayton. She was a little kid when her family moved from Lima to Alaska so her Dad, Dave, could follow his dream of pastoring on the final frontier. So, in short, she left a little girl in pig tales, and came back married and in the ministry. Once again, I feel very old.
85) Robbi Helser Spanoudis: Robbi grew up at Shawnee UMC, and after faithfully serving in the youth ministry, ended up getting hired by me to be an intern while she was in college. Robbi's heart is huge. So is her sister's, and so are their parents. Robbi is now living in Columbus, and (I'm told) is looking to break back into the youth ministry game.
86) Sophie Starr: A senior at Shawnee UMC, Sophie has more musical talent in her pinky than most people do in their whole body. A truly great young lady.
87) Joe Steele: I think my wife knew Joe back in high school, but I can't say I know him all that well. He's now in the ministry, and he too I owe an email.
88) Eric Stone: Eric is the chaplain at the University of Michigan Wesley Foundation. We went not only to seminary together, but we both ended up getting hosed by the leadership of the Illinois Great Rivers Annual Conference. He frequently writes disparaging comments on my wall about Jim Tressel and what a cheater he is while lifting up the virtues of Michigan's program. Well, welcome to the "Rich Rod" era of Michigan Football, Eric. Good luck.
89) Lauren Stubbs: A former youth groupite from Shawnee UMC back in the day, Lauren now teaches Phys Ed in Nashville, and is seriously sweet on some boy down there. We once had a two hour conversation on the nature of baptism.
90) Noel Tabora: Another former Shawneeite from back in the day, Noel is working in advertising in New York City. Another one of my faves from my youth ministry experience. My memories of him still make me smile.
91) Lisa Tordiff: Lisa is another Shawnee youth groupite from back in the day. She is working on a MACE at Methesco, is a Christian Ed director at a church in Columbus, and another deranged person who wants to pursue youth ministry as a career. She'll be a good one.
92) Brian Vinson: A fellow Elder in the UMC, "The Thief" pastors a church in suburban Columbus, loves to play soccer, runs marathons, and enjoys Thai food. His wife is also a professional musician. He was ordained out of the Independent Christian Church movement while on staff at Southland Christian Church in Lexington, which is a huge megachurch. Now he's a United Methodist. A more interesting person you will not meet.
93) Amy Walters: A mother of four, a good friend to my wife, and apparently now the owner of multiple cows, we wish Amy and Joe would move to Lima. It'll never happen, though. The cows won't leave Goshen.
94) Courtney Montgomery Wanat: Another former Shawnee UMC youth groupite from back in the day, I did Courtney's wedding about ten days after I returned to the church back in 2004. I think her mother asked me to do it about ten seconds after the announcement was made that we were returning. She is a teacher, active at the Vineyard Christian Fellowship, and married to a fireman. She lives in Columbus.
95) Michael Wanat: A fireman married to Courtney. See, this one was short.
96) John Whirledge: A student at Indiana Wesleyan, John is one of the few Goshen youth groupites I'm connected to now via Facebook. I always dug John and his family, but given my (for Goshen) liberal theology and long-hair, I think they kinda didn't know what to do with me. They always treated us well, but I think they kept a close eye and ear on me during my five year tenure at Goshen First UMC to make sure I didn't introduce full-blown heresy into the midst. John is dating a girl who is an intern at Chris Heckaman's church in Sidney.
97) Chris Whitney: I know Chris through his dad, Neil. A good guy, Chris works as a physical therapist at the Orthopedic Institute here in Lima. Girls dig him, but he's still single, so for them there is still hope.
98) Trav Wilson: Another fellow Beeson Pastor, Trav is the founding pastor of ChristGarden UMC in Birmingham, Alabama. He is married to the lovely Becca, who worked for years with terminally ill children at a hospital in Pittsburgh. They have a lovely daughter. Trav too is a misguided Auburn fan, wasting his college football fan prime on a program that hasn't been nationally relevant since Bo Jackson took the backfield. "Bo knows continued mediocrity."
99) Aaron Wymer: Another fellow Beeson Pastor, Aaron is the senior pastor of THE Grandview Christian Church in Johnson City, Tennessee. Did I also mention that he was my next door neighbor in 2006-07 during our Beeson experience in Wilmore, Kentucky. Did I also mention he is a University of Florida grad. Did I also mention that we were rooming together the day the Gators defeated the Buckeyes in yet another National Championship game. I will now light myself on fire.
100) Megan Wymer: Daughter of Aaron. Good kid. Reinvented herself during our year in Wilmore. Hope some of that reinvention stuck when she went back to Johnson City.
That's it! 100 friends. If you've made it this far, you had far too much free time on your hands. You need your own Facebook page. Go get one now!
So the question is, do I know one thing about each one of my 100 Facebook friends? We'll give 'er a whirl.
1) Jaziel Agunia: Amada Cooley's nephew who lives in Mexico. A talented musician and Latin heartbreaker.
2) Dean Altstaetter: Former youth and contemporary music director at Shawnee UMC and current member of the Hepcats.
3) Dave Beckett: UMC pastor whose lived in Alaska since 1992. Married my wife and I.
4) Jacob Berns: Bernsie is in a couple of my fantasy sports leagues. He's a college buddy of Brother Esq.
5) Troy Blubaugh: Former member at Shawnee UMC who was in my youth group back in the day. Was good friends with his folks who I dragged all over creation as counselors.
6) Craig Broadwater: Goes to our church, and his son Wade is a Marine.
7) Shelley Montgomery Buch: Former youth groupee at Shawnee back in the day. I did her wedding, which is notable in the fact that two days before it was supposed to happen, straight line winds knocked down all the power poles on Shawnee Road stretching a mile north and mile south of the church. We had no power for two weeks. I had to call South Side Christian Church to see if we could do Shelley's wedding there. They agreed. Crisis averted. Bride goes from panicked to happy.
8) Rachel Burns: Current youth pastor at Trinity UMC in Lima where her father, Dave Harris, is the senior pastor.
9) Jenny Carson: Former secretary at the Beeson Center.
10) April Casperson: I have no idea who this person is, but I think I added her because she's somehow connected with the Methodist Theological School in Ohio (Methesco), where I completed my MDiv.
11) Jenna Elizabeth Chapman: A current member of Shawnee UMC's youth group who posts a lot of MySpace bulletins and loves her church.
12) Paul Chilcote: Currently a member of the faculty at Ashland Theological Seminary. Taught my first UM polity class at Methesco and provided me with some helpful info on Francis Asbury when I first started my doctoral dissertation (which reminds me, I still owe him a pound of coffee for his time).
13) Alicia Coltzer: Fellow Beeson Pastor, former carrel-mate, pastor in Houston, Texas at Shepherds Drive UMC, and the one who tried to teach me how to get in touch with my inner-princess.
14) Kevin Connor: Real quiet guy who's married to Michelle Mumma Connor.
15) Michelle Mumma Connor: Old friend who sometimes sings at my church, has refused repeated job offers on my part to work in our children's ministry, and secretly owns a lake house at an undisclosed location. Oh, I also sing the first line of the Beatles "Michelle" whenever I see her.
16) Joshua Cunningham: Program director for Clear Channel in Washington D.C. and former manager of OAR who grew up in Lima. Hangs with guys like 50 Cent cause he's of the entertainment world.
17) Nick Daniels: Friend of Eric Dill's who used to do some stuff with Shawnee UMC's youth group back in the day. I remember him as an unfailingly polite young man who was co-developer of the game "Torpedo Dads". The game was played on a trampoline, upon which a number of water-filled two-liter bottles (that had once contained Dads Rootbeer, hence the game's name) rested. The idea was to jump up and down in such a way as to propel the bottles into the groin area of your opponent. How can I make this up?
18) Julian A. Davies: Founding pastor of the University Church in Toledo and the smartest ordained Elder in the universe. I will bring him to Shawnee to do some teaching very soon.
19) Tina Dietsch: T is a former roommate of Alicia's, a former associate pastor at Trinity UMC, and a good friend who will not call you back unless you impersonate her Bishop and make her think she's in trouble.
20) Joanne Ha Dill: Married to Eric Dill, living in Boston. Met her once at the Star Spangled Spectacular about four years ago.
21) J Leigh Ditto: Current youth pastor at Shawnee who is expecting her first child and is a huge Buckeye fan.
22) Susanna Haines Donald: Married to Nolan Donald, fellow Beeson Pastor, and quite possibly the funniest person on the face of the planet. She has plans to write a book about her experience as a middle school English. If she does, I'll make sure you know where to get a copy. She writes a blog, but only close personal friends are allowed to read it (so there).
23) Nolan Donald: Currently the Pastor of Compassion Ministries at a big honkin' church in Houston who is about to be the founding pastor of a church named something like "WordServe UMC", a name which sounds stolen from Bill Gates. One smart funny dude who is a passionate Auburn fan. Too bad they haven't been relevant in college football since Bo Jackson took the backfield. "Bo knows two decades of futility."
24) CJ Dugan: Wife's cousin whose marriage ceremony I performed a couple years ago. Just welcomed his son Spencer into the world (congrats CJ and Jill).
25) Ann Dukeman Lehman: Former youth groupite at Shawnee back in the day, now currently living with her husband in Columbus. The baby of the three Dukeman sisters.
26) Trent Elmquist: Our families both went to Trinity UMC, but Trent was quite a bit younger than I. I knew his brother Kirk really well, and his sister Michelle (who is Craig Broadwater's wife) attends Shawnee and heads up our Centrum Decoration Team. He's a great guy.
27) Jonathan Epperson: Former member of youth group at Epworth UMC during my short 18 month tenure there. I remember he played soccer, had a sister, and liked to hang out with Kevin Gray.
28) Char Evans: Former youth groupite at Shawnee UMC back in the day whose wedding I'll be doing next June. Her grandparents used to own Clyde Evans Markets. The summer before I left for college I delivered pizzas for Dominos. Because the Evans knew me from Trinity, they used to request me as their delivery guy every Friday night when they had over friends play cards. They always left me a killer tip. There's a S-A-V-E in Evans!
29) Kim Faler: Former youth groupite at Shawnee UMC back in the day who liked Danny Kinley and whose brother, Brian, was a good friend in high school. Now she's an artist living in Amherst, Massachusettes. Check out her work at www.kimfaler.com It's good stuff! Buy yourself a Faler for your collection. I am. (seriously, I am!)
30) Whitney Fischer: Current member of Shawnee UMC and it's youth ministry. A fellow Spartan who is off to Ohio Wesleyan University in the fall to study Early Childhood Education. Together, as fellow Lima Senior alums, we make Facebook 40% cooler because we're on it. It's scientifically proven.
31) Ellen Dukeman Gartland: Sister to Anne, Ellen was by far the brightest student I ever pastored back in my days as a youth pastor. She pushed me theologically (in many ways that I couldn't explain until years after her graduation), pushed me ministry-wise (she started our tutoring ministry at the Bradfield Center), and did a good job pointing out the BS in Christian church (which she probably still does). Was living in New York working in the Advertising game, but I think is now moving elsewhere.
32) Rhea Gray: Former youth groupite at Epworth UMC in Toledo. A sweet girl who went to Kent State, and now is engaged and living in North Carolina. One of the truly good people I've met in my life.
33) Kevon Gray: Former youth groupite at Epworth UMC (brother of Rhea) who played drums in what was our awful, yet spirited youth band. Now active in ministry through The Vineyard in Columbus.
34) Kristen Harrand: Former youth groupite (a Beckstedt) who just adopted a daughter with her husband Greg. They live in Lima and attend Shawnee.
35) Greg Harrand: Married to Kristen, Greg just finished coaching the Jr. Acme Baseball team here in Shawnee with Eric Miller. A baseball team coached by an accountant and orthopedic surgeon. At least the stats were straight and all foot and ankle injuries taken care of immediately.
36) Kaylee Hayes: For the life of me I don't know who this person is. I think she's another Methesco person, but don't quote me (if she reads this, maybe she can tell me who she is, or maybe she'll just delete me down to 99 friends... only time will tell).
37) Seth Heckaman: Hang onto your hats Shawneeites. Remember Chris Heckaman, who was a pastor at Shawnee back in the day. And remember he and Lisa had a bunch of kids. And their oldest was this cute little boy named Seth. Well, now Seth will be a senior at Sidney High School, and he just started a ministry to help get children out of the sex trade in Tijuana. No joke. Feel both old, and impressed.
38) Keith Hefner: Son of Charlotte Hefner, my associate pastor, Keith just graduated and is heading off to Marietta College in the fall where he'll study and play baseball (in that order, if he knows what's good for him).
39) Elizabeth Hefner: Dauther-in-law to Charlotte, wife of Dustin, sister-in-law to Keith, and mother of Cade. Member at Shawnee UMC, and computer geek for the Shawnee Weekday Early Childhood Learning Center.
40) Katie Jackson: Youth pastor at St. Paul UCC in Wapak and drag racing freak.
41) Alaina Jenkins: Middle-school aged daughter of Steve and Anne who went to Middle School Lakeside, and, I am told, loved it.
42) Stephen Jenkins: Member of Shawnee UMC and volunteer in the youth ministry at the church, who is also a social worker at SAFY here in Allen County. He has a motorcycle in his garage, and despite the fact that gas is $4 a gallon, hasn't yet pulled it out into the sunlight.
43) Ann Jenkins: Wife of Stephen, she was the housemom for Shawnee UMC at Senior High Lakeside, which makes her special.
44) Shay Furness Kearns: When I first met Shay, Shay was a college student at Grace College majoring in youth ministry. I hired Shay as my youth intern. Since then, Shay has become a seminary student (who owns an Apple laptop whose power supply went kapluey this year, hence the former boss making an early graduation gift in March) at Union Theological Seminary (NYC). Shay is married to Steph, and living in New Jersey.
45) Jenny Kleffman: After a tough divorce, Jenny is now happily married with kids, living on the other side of Ohio. One of the first people from Goshen, Indiana I ever met, and long before I ever thought I'd live there.
46) Karen Kreutzberg: Former youth groupite at Epworth UMC. Her dad managed a theater that musicals and such somewhere in southern Michigan.
47) Logan Latimer: Currently in the Air Force, and stationed at Wright Pattterson Air Force Base in Dayton. He sometimes helps with our youth ministry and occasionally plays bass on Sunday morning worship.
48) Erik Lodermeier: A former part-time Shawnee youth groupite from back in the day who now lives in Colorado and knows a whole lot about music I've never heard of, but I am learning to enjoy (you are expanding my world Erik L).
49) Robert Lopez: I think Robert is an alum at Asbury.
50) Kara Lucas: The former Kara Hastings, I'm pretty much sure that I hadn't heard heads or tails from her for 15 years until she made me a Facebook friend. I had to go back into the wayback machine to place the face. A Shawnee youth groupite from way back in the day.
(whew.... gotta speed this up)
51) Thomas Lyons: Future seminary student who I wrote a multitude of recommendations for in the last two years. All I have to say is that given all the writing I did, he'd better do well in class. On staff at Vineyard Church in Sugarland, Texas.
52) Angie Lysght: Drawing a blank. Another Methesco student. I must have a soft spot for Methesco students.
53) Andy Machin: Former youth groupite at Epworth UMC who is now pursuing a MDiv at one of our 13 UM seminaries. I owe him an email. I promise to write and send it soon.
54) James Thomas Martin: Fellow Beeson Pastor, and founding pastor of a church in Katy, Texas. I bet if you met him a grocery store and talked to him for ten minutes you'd never guess he was a pastor. Not in a million years.
55) Andrew Maurer: Current slav... er, intern at Shawnee UMC. Hurt himself twirling at church camp. (sigh)
56) Jenna Mayer: Student at Bluffton University and all-around good egg.
57) Hayley Mitchell: My niece living in New Bern, NC. I don't care if she is 16, she needs to forget about boys, concentrate on her studies, and forget about boys. Likes to play HORSE with her overweight uncle.
58) Michelle Mitchell: My sister-in-law, and Hayley's mother. She's a nurse anesthetist, so essentially she gets paid to pass gas. Get ready Aunt Shelly cause the boys want to come see their cousins and the ocean. This won't come to pass this summer, but it's coming sooner than later. May you and your home be spared.
59) Justin Modica: Musician, chemist, graduate student studying stuff I'll never understand, and former part-time youth groupite at Shawnee from back in the day.
60) Jeff Moore: Site pastor for Life Church in Stillwater, Oklahoma. I used to babysit Jeff before he started nursery school. Man am I old.
61) Beth Moore: Sister of Jeff. Wasn't even born when I used to babysit her brothers. Man I am really, really old.
62) Nichelle Morris: We graduated the same year (1987) from Lima Senior High School. We ran in different crowds so I didn't know her all that well. But as fate would have it, I ended up moving in next to her father and mother three years ago. She lives in Atlanta and is recently engaged.
63) Travis Muse: Fellow Beeson pastor, baseball freak, father to two boys, and the senior pastor at Marlow UMC in Marlow, Oklahoma. The church he served in the appointment before Marlow was in Oklahoma City, and bigger than the city of Marlow. Pretty big change. Pray for his mother-in-law who is fighting cancer.
64) Steven Neidich: Senior at Shawnee High School who is in the band and active at our church. Will hate to see him graduate and leave next year. A great kid.
65) Lelah Norris: Student at Wright State University and grand-daughter to Marty Hutchison.
66) Amy Orwick: Ummmm.... I think I need a little help here.
67) Naveen Pai: One of the genuine unexpected welcomed surprises of this whole Facebook thing. Naveen played drums in Fpoon, which was a band made up also of Tyler Derryberry, Matt Parish, and Eric Hicks. Back in the day, Naveen used to come to church and play drums for us on occasion at youth group and at the worship service, which was a big deal cause his family is actually Hindu. I have a great story about him but I'll save it for another post) He eventually graduated from Stanford and I think is now working on a graduate degree in a field I'll know nothing about.
68) Matt Parish: Former youth groupite at Shawnee UMC from back in the day, he's now the lead lyricist for the post-punk band Ho-Ag. Based in Boston, Matt also writes and does other stuff to make a living. As a kid he was deep beyond deep. Still true today.
69) Joe Pisel: Another back in the day Shawneeite who was one of the notorious "Pisel Twins". Talk about keeping a youth pastor jumping.... yikes. Now, he's a father of a set of twins himself, and about to realize the full force of the verse, "you reap what you sow". Lives in the Lima area and works with his dad and twin brother in the sign business.
70) Kara Place: A fellow Spartan who graduated a year behind me (I think), Kara now is the choir director at North Middle School in Lima. Her show choir sang for our Older Adult group at Christmas. They were great!
71) Paul Rebelo: Pauly is the guy who rescued me from sleeping in my car when we went to seminary together way back in the early nineties. My dearest friend, I take no crap off him, and he no crap off of me. Has helped save my sanity as a pastor. Someday when the kids are grown, we will take a couple of weeks, disappear, and wreak havoc in some unsuspecting locale. That's all you need to know.
72) Tammy Jo Reiser: Current West Ohio Conference Director of Youth Ministry. Met her at Annual Conference this year.
73) Kent Reynolds: Kent Reynolds once baptized 3000 people in a remote part of Qatar in a pool he created with his staff in the middle of the desert. Kent Reynolds healed 200 lepers living on an island off the coast of India from his living room in Athens, Georgia on a bet. Kent Reynolds gives wisdom pointers. Kent Reynolds is the Pastor-In-Residence at the Beeson Center in Wilmore, Kentucky when he isn't walking on water or turning water into pecan pies.
74) Tyler Rhodes: Tyler just graduated from Shawnee HS, and will attend the University of Findlay this fall majoring in something, and also playing football. He told me once that he really likes hitting people, which is why he plays football. I'll just take his world for it cause he's a big dude.
75) Christa Roberts: One of my wife's best friends in High School. An accomplished harpist (who knew Lima Senior turned out harpists), she now lives in New Philadelphia, Ohio.
76) Ian Rockwood: Another one of Brother Esq's buddies in my various fantasy leagues.
77) Amy Roush: A fellow member of the class of 1987, her, I, and her twin brother are also all Miami University grads circa 1991. I used to hang out with them in elementary and junior high school when they'd stay at their Dad's house (he lived across the street) on the weekends. Their dad is a dentist, and his was the only house that gave out toothbrushes during Halloween. Amy now lives in Atlanta.
78) Darin Rumer: A really good-hearted but goofy kid, Darin was in the vaunted W-Squad of the Lima Senior High School Spartan Marching Pride. He ended up following a girl he liked to Bob Jones University, but I see on his Facebook page that he ended up graduating from Clemson in 1997. We need to catch up.
79) Andrea Sanford: Andrea is a wonderful person. She lived down the street from where I live now, but now lives in Nashville where she works in the record industry. She probably has brunch with Michael W. Smith and Dana Key on a regular basis. I hope she finds happiness in all she does.
80) Matt Scholl: Fellow Beeson Pastor and pastor of Aley UMC in Beavercreek UMC. I'm partially responsible for Matt jumping ship from his native South Indiana Conference to West Ohio by talking about him to a DS looking to pilfer Beeson Pastors to the WOC. Matt doesn't know this, but originally that DS wanted to appoint him to Shawnee UMC to be my associate (an idea I shot down by the way because, if anything, I should be Matt's associate). He has a wife and two kids.
81) Jennifer Shaw: A student and track/cross country runner at Ohio University because she apparently couldn't get into college (that joke, for a Miami grad, never gets old). Her mother is the organist at our church and her father is the chair of the Board of Trustees.
82) Keri Shryock: Keri and her brothers were youth groupites at Epworth UMC during my short tenure there. Her mother, a sweet, patient woman, had the unfortunate assignment of being my SPRC rep at a time in my life when I was very dissatisfied with my job. Sorry you took the brunt of that Mrs. Shryock. I am very, very sorry.
83) Brent Sloan: A former youth pastor at Shawnee UMC, we hired Brent fresh out of bible college. He was a great guy who loved the Lord, but was pretty green when it came to ministry. Just about the time he was just starting to figure out what he was doing, he left us for another opportunity (against my advice, I might add). But, married with a child on the way, he seems satisfied with the direction the Lord has taken him. A more faithful disciple of Jesus you will never meet.
84) Jenny Beckett Smith: Jenny is married, a student at United and on staff at Stillwater UMC in suburban Dayton. She was a little kid when her family moved from Lima to Alaska so her Dad, Dave, could follow his dream of pastoring on the final frontier. So, in short, she left a little girl in pig tales, and came back married and in the ministry. Once again, I feel very old.
85) Robbi Helser Spanoudis: Robbi grew up at Shawnee UMC, and after faithfully serving in the youth ministry, ended up getting hired by me to be an intern while she was in college. Robbi's heart is huge. So is her sister's, and so are their parents. Robbi is now living in Columbus, and (I'm told) is looking to break back into the youth ministry game.
86) Sophie Starr: A senior at Shawnee UMC, Sophie has more musical talent in her pinky than most people do in their whole body. A truly great young lady.
87) Joe Steele: I think my wife knew Joe back in high school, but I can't say I know him all that well. He's now in the ministry, and he too I owe an email.
88) Eric Stone: Eric is the chaplain at the University of Michigan Wesley Foundation. We went not only to seminary together, but we both ended up getting hosed by the leadership of the Illinois Great Rivers Annual Conference. He frequently writes disparaging comments on my wall about Jim Tressel and what a cheater he is while lifting up the virtues of Michigan's program. Well, welcome to the "Rich Rod" era of Michigan Football, Eric. Good luck.
89) Lauren Stubbs: A former youth groupite from Shawnee UMC back in the day, Lauren now teaches Phys Ed in Nashville, and is seriously sweet on some boy down there. We once had a two hour conversation on the nature of baptism.
90) Noel Tabora: Another former Shawneeite from back in the day, Noel is working in advertising in New York City. Another one of my faves from my youth ministry experience. My memories of him still make me smile.
91) Lisa Tordiff: Lisa is another Shawnee youth groupite from back in the day. She is working on a MACE at Methesco, is a Christian Ed director at a church in Columbus, and another deranged person who wants to pursue youth ministry as a career. She'll be a good one.
92) Brian Vinson: A fellow Elder in the UMC, "The Thief" pastors a church in suburban Columbus, loves to play soccer, runs marathons, and enjoys Thai food. His wife is also a professional musician. He was ordained out of the Independent Christian Church movement while on staff at Southland Christian Church in Lexington, which is a huge megachurch. Now he's a United Methodist. A more interesting person you will not meet.
93) Amy Walters: A mother of four, a good friend to my wife, and apparently now the owner of multiple cows, we wish Amy and Joe would move to Lima. It'll never happen, though. The cows won't leave Goshen.
94) Courtney Montgomery Wanat: Another former Shawnee UMC youth groupite from back in the day, I did Courtney's wedding about ten days after I returned to the church back in 2004. I think her mother asked me to do it about ten seconds after the announcement was made that we were returning. She is a teacher, active at the Vineyard Christian Fellowship, and married to a fireman. She lives in Columbus.
95) Michael Wanat: A fireman married to Courtney. See, this one was short.
96) John Whirledge: A student at Indiana Wesleyan, John is one of the few Goshen youth groupites I'm connected to now via Facebook. I always dug John and his family, but given my (for Goshen) liberal theology and long-hair, I think they kinda didn't know what to do with me. They always treated us well, but I think they kept a close eye and ear on me during my five year tenure at Goshen First UMC to make sure I didn't introduce full-blown heresy into the midst. John is dating a girl who is an intern at Chris Heckaman's church in Sidney.
97) Chris Whitney: I know Chris through his dad, Neil. A good guy, Chris works as a physical therapist at the Orthopedic Institute here in Lima. Girls dig him, but he's still single, so for them there is still hope.
98) Trav Wilson: Another fellow Beeson Pastor, Trav is the founding pastor of ChristGarden UMC in Birmingham, Alabama. He is married to the lovely Becca, who worked for years with terminally ill children at a hospital in Pittsburgh. They have a lovely daughter. Trav too is a misguided Auburn fan, wasting his college football fan prime on a program that hasn't been nationally relevant since Bo Jackson took the backfield. "Bo knows continued mediocrity."
99) Aaron Wymer: Another fellow Beeson Pastor, Aaron is the senior pastor of THE Grandview Christian Church in Johnson City, Tennessee. Did I also mention that he was my next door neighbor in 2006-07 during our Beeson experience in Wilmore, Kentucky. Did I also mention he is a University of Florida grad. Did I also mention that we were rooming together the day the Gators defeated the Buckeyes in yet another National Championship game. I will now light myself on fire.
100) Megan Wymer: Daughter of Aaron. Good kid. Reinvented herself during our year in Wilmore. Hope some of that reinvention stuck when she went back to Johnson City.
That's it! 100 friends. If you've made it this far, you had far too much free time on your hands. You need your own Facebook page. Go get one now!
Ten Things I Did On My Summer Vacation (the other five)
6) On Rose Lake there is a "swimming hole". I'm not sure why that particular area of the lake has been designated as such, but it is. Every day, at least once and as many as three times, we head on over to that part of the lake on the pontoon boat to listen to music (home.fm, which could generously be called adult alternative soft rock... if that makes sense) and swim. Sometimes the boys would want to play tag, and other times a game we invented called "tuna and shark" (me, being the "Big Kahuna Tuna", and Max and Xave being sharks). Our trips to the swimming hole were bookended by the two oldest boys taking turns driving the boat (which, with a strong tail wind, goes about 5 mph).
I don't remember which day it was, exactly, but the sky was particularly blue and the sun bright. Music and laughter filled the air. The water was cool and clear. A day that when I'm dead and gone, my sons will remember as one of the best our family ever had. I mean, I plan funerals with families as a part of my living. I know the days that matter are the only ones that get brought up when we sit together in some funeral home, the family sharing memories that will enable me to write a eulogy. This was one of those days that will matter. A day so perfect that in the moment I simply enjoyed being in the middle of it.
You don't get many of those days... or at least not enough of them.
7) One of the things I liked about this vaca was that, unlike other families who feel the need to cram in an many activities as possible in the time allotted, The Buchers are quite content to do as much or as little as they wish. This year, we swam and boated and made sand castles and explored the lake but we also did a whole lot of not much. We watched TV. We read books and newspapers. We napped. The boys played video games.
We vacated. It was relaxing, de-stressing, and overall very refreshing. We didn't come back totally exhausted. It was good.
8) We celebrated my wife's 29th birthday (just as we did last year, and will again next year) with cake, a nice meal (steak that I over-seasoned), and presents. Every year, since my 29th birthday is always in February, my wife gets me the latest Grisham book, and 20 bucks to be used at some coffeehouse while reading it (can't put down one of those babies until I'm finished). This year I got her two books. One was a piece of Christian Chick-lit (which she gobbles up... no sex scenes, just confused relationships) and the other was Phil Vischer's book about the rise and fall of Big Idea Inc., the company that produces VeggieTales. I always wondered how a company with characters as wildly popular as Bob and Larry used to be could fall apart.
Vischer tells the story of what happens when a creative animator gets in over his head when his product takes off and subsequently looks to the "suits" to handle the business-side of a company built to serve a particular entertainement niche they don't really understand... which (if you don't have time to read the book) is bankruptcy and the loss of everything including the characters you lovingly created.
Christians are a strange bunch in that the market is much more segmented than those outside the Christian sub-culture realize. Of course, there is your James-Dobson-Moral-Majority crowd, and they historically have packed the biggest wallop in terms of their economic clout, but there are other crowds too. There are health-and-wealth Christians who buy up books by Joyce Meyer, Joel Osteen, and Kenneth Copeland, hoping God will bless them if they live their life the right way. There are the "post-modern Christians" who are making Donald Miller and Rob Bell Jr. famous and rich. There are the peace and justice Christians who subscribe to Sojourners magazine. There are cultural Christians who identify with their churches and communities for reasons relating to ethnicity and heritage. And there are mainline Christians who are more likely to buy secular media than they are the stuff at the local Parable Christian Book Store. And there are suburban mega-church Christians who go to the cool church in the community where the pastor preaches sermons in the style of Bill Hybles or Rick Warren... which is to say self-help sermons generally concerned with helping you find the most meaningful life for yourself that you can.
The groups aren't necessarily isolated from one another, but you can't just label something "Christian" and expect all these different people to buy it. And, in fact, if you begin to bend your marketing strategy or product at one of these various groups, you might very well make it more difficult to sell the product to the other crowds. It's complicated, and I think you have to have a clear understanding of which of these subgroups are going to buy what you are selling before you even get started.
Vischer always knew his bread and butter were James-Dobson Christians who sought to isolate themselves more fully from the influence of secular media, and the mega-church Christians who wanted their children to be taught to have good morals and instilled with high self-esteem. As a matter of fact, since Vischer came from one of these cultures (the Dobsonites), he understood them very well, and his knowledge shaped how the videos were made (watch carefully and you'll notice that Jesus was never portrayed as one of the vegetables and the vegetables never talked about themselves going to heaven.... both done intentionally so as to not tick off churches of a certain ilk), promoted, and sold. But because he lived in suburban Chicago, he knew the values and quality the megachurch Christians wanted in their children's media. Those two markets identified, Vischer's company sold millions more units than he ever dreamed, and in the end, was capable of handling himself. So, he called in the suits with business experience to keep everything straight.
When the suits started violating the rules of the various subcultures (like, for example, when they starting to sell Bob and Larry at WalMart as opposed to the local Christian bookstore, which ticked off the Dobsonites who wanted their Christian bookstores to do well) they started losing their target Christian subcultures, while not sufficiently picking up any of the others, or people in the non-Christian world. Hence the push to sell and frame the franchise differently ended up alienating the core base, which destroyed sales even as the company's overhead started to rise due to all the new marketing and packaging folks the suits hired to beef up sales.
Hence Big Idea going bankrupt, getting sold off to various conglomerates, and Vischer starting over without the characters he is known for. A great read, particularly if you are looking to expand a business, or love animation, or enjoy reading books where you know in the end it's all going to fall apart... you just don't know how its going to happen. Both of us dug it, and I think learned a lot. I'm not sure Vischer has still sorted out where everything went wrong (particularly as it relates to where God was while he watched his company get auctioned off piece by piece.... which is a problem for somebody with a reformed theology who believes in predestination). He claims that the problem was that his dreams supplanted God's, and thus now as he starts his newest venture, Jellyfish Labs, that we won't dream big like he did before (when he wanted to be the Christian Walt Disney).
Of course, now he just wants to be the Christian Nickelodeon or Christian Disney Channel. I'm not sure how that's not dreaming big.... I guess you'll just need to read the book to figure Phil out for yourself.
9) We returned home Friday. On Saturday my folks offered (with a little suggestive selling) to take the boys 1-3 overnight so Aimee and I could at least have a little more peace and quiet than usual. We had a nice meal at Burgandy's. We looked at different vehicles (not to buy... just for the heck of it). And to cap off the evening, we went to a movie.
Mamma Mia
Let me say this.... a movie musical based on a Broadway musical based on the music of Abba would not be my first (or second, or third, or tenth) choice normally. Particularly if the music was going to sung, not by Abba, or Broadway entertainers, but rather Meryl Streep and Pierce Brosnan (who, upon opening his mouth, sounded so bad that it made my wife weep with laughter), I would pay to see something else. But my wife has this little web design company that landed a fairly big corporate fish, and this company is going to tie one of its products to the release of Mamma Mia on DVD later this fall. So, we went so Aimee could do some research for her project.... or so she says. She loved every blessed moment of that crummy movie.
How crummy, you ask?
Have you ever been naked, covered with angry red ants, in a vat of acid, while the devil peels off your toenails, as twenty off-key lemurs screech in your ears tunes like "Dancing Queen"? Well, neither have I, but as I sat in that dark movie theater, silently wishing aliens would abduct me for crude intestinal scientific study, that's kind of what it was like. Naked with ants in acids with the devil and lemurs.
At least now I have further proof there is a God, because the movie ended. Biggest act of grace I've experienced in many, many years. Needless to say, her finding from the movie is that I am not in the target demographic. Hence, no effort will go into drawing overweight, slightly balding adult males in their late 30's, early 40's to the product she'll be promoting. This one's for you ladies! This one's for you.
10) Finally, while on an errand today, my eldest son, Max, and I were talking about vacation this year, when I asked him, "So, do you think we should go back to Buckeye/Raider cottage on Rose Lake next year?" (as it's graciously been offered already, with the stipulation that I don't paint Eric the Buckeye as being "foo foo" in Sunday morning sermons... which will not be easy. For the love of Pete, the man drinks decaf chocolate mochas and keeps eight different kinds of breath mints in his truck. How can you hide "foo foo" as blatant as that? Good thing I only agreed to sermons, and not the blog.)
But strangely enough, Max got really quiet. After many seconds of pondering he said...
"Dad, the lake is awfully fun, but somehow next summer could we see our friends in Goshen, then maybe our friends in Tennessee, and our cousins in North Carolina? Or maybe take them to the lake with us? That's would be the ultimate, Dad. All of us with our friends at the lake. Could we do that, Dad? Please?"
Thus, for many of you, I now give you your gift from our vacation. No matter how much fun we have had, you, our friends and family, were never far from our heart. You make our life sweet, and for that we thank you.
And who knows... maybe we'll figure out something cool next summer where we can be with at least some of you, sharing our downtime. I hope we can make that happen.
Just... don't bring a copy of Mamma Mia with you. That, and you serve your time as a spotter. That's all I ask.
I don't remember which day it was, exactly, but the sky was particularly blue and the sun bright. Music and laughter filled the air. The water was cool and clear. A day that when I'm dead and gone, my sons will remember as one of the best our family ever had. I mean, I plan funerals with families as a part of my living. I know the days that matter are the only ones that get brought up when we sit together in some funeral home, the family sharing memories that will enable me to write a eulogy. This was one of those days that will matter. A day so perfect that in the moment I simply enjoyed being in the middle of it.
You don't get many of those days... or at least not enough of them.
7) One of the things I liked about this vaca was that, unlike other families who feel the need to cram in an many activities as possible in the time allotted, The Buchers are quite content to do as much or as little as they wish. This year, we swam and boated and made sand castles and explored the lake but we also did a whole lot of not much. We watched TV. We read books and newspapers. We napped. The boys played video games.
We vacated. It was relaxing, de-stressing, and overall very refreshing. We didn't come back totally exhausted. It was good.
8) We celebrated my wife's 29th birthday (just as we did last year, and will again next year) with cake, a nice meal (steak that I over-seasoned), and presents. Every year, since my 29th birthday is always in February, my wife gets me the latest Grisham book, and 20 bucks to be used at some coffeehouse while reading it (can't put down one of those babies until I'm finished). This year I got her two books. One was a piece of Christian Chick-lit (which she gobbles up... no sex scenes, just confused relationships) and the other was Phil Vischer's book about the rise and fall of Big Idea Inc., the company that produces VeggieTales. I always wondered how a company with characters as wildly popular as Bob and Larry used to be could fall apart.
Vischer tells the story of what happens when a creative animator gets in over his head when his product takes off and subsequently looks to the "suits" to handle the business-side of a company built to serve a particular entertainement niche they don't really understand... which (if you don't have time to read the book) is bankruptcy and the loss of everything including the characters you lovingly created.
Christians are a strange bunch in that the market is much more segmented than those outside the Christian sub-culture realize. Of course, there is your James-Dobson-Moral-Majority crowd, and they historically have packed the biggest wallop in terms of their economic clout, but there are other crowds too. There are health-and-wealth Christians who buy up books by Joyce Meyer, Joel Osteen, and Kenneth Copeland, hoping God will bless them if they live their life the right way. There are the "post-modern Christians" who are making Donald Miller and Rob Bell Jr. famous and rich. There are the peace and justice Christians who subscribe to Sojourners magazine. There are cultural Christians who identify with their churches and communities for reasons relating to ethnicity and heritage. And there are mainline Christians who are more likely to buy secular media than they are the stuff at the local Parable Christian Book Store. And there are suburban mega-church Christians who go to the cool church in the community where the pastor preaches sermons in the style of Bill Hybles or Rick Warren... which is to say self-help sermons generally concerned with helping you find the most meaningful life for yourself that you can.
The groups aren't necessarily isolated from one another, but you can't just label something "Christian" and expect all these different people to buy it. And, in fact, if you begin to bend your marketing strategy or product at one of these various groups, you might very well make it more difficult to sell the product to the other crowds. It's complicated, and I think you have to have a clear understanding of which of these subgroups are going to buy what you are selling before you even get started.
Vischer always knew his bread and butter were James-Dobson Christians who sought to isolate themselves more fully from the influence of secular media, and the mega-church Christians who wanted their children to be taught to have good morals and instilled with high self-esteem. As a matter of fact, since Vischer came from one of these cultures (the Dobsonites), he understood them very well, and his knowledge shaped how the videos were made (watch carefully and you'll notice that Jesus was never portrayed as one of the vegetables and the vegetables never talked about themselves going to heaven.... both done intentionally so as to not tick off churches of a certain ilk), promoted, and sold. But because he lived in suburban Chicago, he knew the values and quality the megachurch Christians wanted in their children's media. Those two markets identified, Vischer's company sold millions more units than he ever dreamed, and in the end, was capable of handling himself. So, he called in the suits with business experience to keep everything straight.
When the suits started violating the rules of the various subcultures (like, for example, when they starting to sell Bob and Larry at WalMart as opposed to the local Christian bookstore, which ticked off the Dobsonites who wanted their Christian bookstores to do well) they started losing their target Christian subcultures, while not sufficiently picking up any of the others, or people in the non-Christian world. Hence the push to sell and frame the franchise differently ended up alienating the core base, which destroyed sales even as the company's overhead started to rise due to all the new marketing and packaging folks the suits hired to beef up sales.
Hence Big Idea going bankrupt, getting sold off to various conglomerates, and Vischer starting over without the characters he is known for. A great read, particularly if you are looking to expand a business, or love animation, or enjoy reading books where you know in the end it's all going to fall apart... you just don't know how its going to happen. Both of us dug it, and I think learned a lot. I'm not sure Vischer has still sorted out where everything went wrong (particularly as it relates to where God was while he watched his company get auctioned off piece by piece.... which is a problem for somebody with a reformed theology who believes in predestination). He claims that the problem was that his dreams supplanted God's, and thus now as he starts his newest venture, Jellyfish Labs, that we won't dream big like he did before (when he wanted to be the Christian Walt Disney).
Of course, now he just wants to be the Christian Nickelodeon or Christian Disney Channel. I'm not sure how that's not dreaming big.... I guess you'll just need to read the book to figure Phil out for yourself.
9) We returned home Friday. On Saturday my folks offered (with a little suggestive selling) to take the boys 1-3 overnight so Aimee and I could at least have a little more peace and quiet than usual. We had a nice meal at Burgandy's. We looked at different vehicles (not to buy... just for the heck of it). And to cap off the evening, we went to a movie.
Mamma Mia
Let me say this.... a movie musical based on a Broadway musical based on the music of Abba would not be my first (or second, or third, or tenth) choice normally. Particularly if the music was going to sung, not by Abba, or Broadway entertainers, but rather Meryl Streep and Pierce Brosnan (who, upon opening his mouth, sounded so bad that it made my wife weep with laughter), I would pay to see something else. But my wife has this little web design company that landed a fairly big corporate fish, and this company is going to tie one of its products to the release of Mamma Mia on DVD later this fall. So, we went so Aimee could do some research for her project.... or so she says. She loved every blessed moment of that crummy movie.
How crummy, you ask?
Have you ever been naked, covered with angry red ants, in a vat of acid, while the devil peels off your toenails, as twenty off-key lemurs screech in your ears tunes like "Dancing Queen"? Well, neither have I, but as I sat in that dark movie theater, silently wishing aliens would abduct me for crude intestinal scientific study, that's kind of what it was like. Naked with ants in acids with the devil and lemurs.
At least now I have further proof there is a God, because the movie ended. Biggest act of grace I've experienced in many, many years. Needless to say, her finding from the movie is that I am not in the target demographic. Hence, no effort will go into drawing overweight, slightly balding adult males in their late 30's, early 40's to the product she'll be promoting. This one's for you ladies! This one's for you.
10) Finally, while on an errand today, my eldest son, Max, and I were talking about vacation this year, when I asked him, "So, do you think we should go back to Buckeye/Raider cottage on Rose Lake next year?" (as it's graciously been offered already, with the stipulation that I don't paint Eric the Buckeye as being "foo foo" in Sunday morning sermons... which will not be easy. For the love of Pete, the man drinks decaf chocolate mochas and keeps eight different kinds of breath mints in his truck. How can you hide "foo foo" as blatant as that? Good thing I only agreed to sermons, and not the blog.)
But strangely enough, Max got really quiet. After many seconds of pondering he said...
"Dad, the lake is awfully fun, but somehow next summer could we see our friends in Goshen, then maybe our friends in Tennessee, and our cousins in North Carolina? Or maybe take them to the lake with us? That's would be the ultimate, Dad. All of us with our friends at the lake. Could we do that, Dad? Please?"
Thus, for many of you, I now give you your gift from our vacation. No matter how much fun we have had, you, our friends and family, were never far from our heart. You make our life sweet, and for that we thank you.
And who knows... maybe we'll figure out something cool next summer where we can be with at least some of you, sharing our downtime. I hope we can make that happen.
Just... don't bring a copy of Mamma Mia with you. That, and you serve your time as a spotter. That's all I ask.
Sunday, July 27, 2008
Ten Things I Did On My Summer Vacation (the first five)
Well, we're back. After a (mostly) relaxing and non-stressful week at Eric the Buckeye and Vanessa the Raider's cottage in Michigan, we have returned home. I'm still doing some vacation for the next few days so I won't be around the office just yet. I would have gone to worship this morning but my wife threatened me within an inch of my life to stay away from work, so I worshiped elsewhere. In any event, here's are the highs and lows (we saw "Mamma Mia"... more later) of our vacation experience.
1) Although it technically occurred before we left, the "Midsummer Bucher Brothers Bash" was a hit. 32 (maybe.... we aren't sure, which gives you an idea of how many little kids were here) kids showed up at our house for a long-promised (on the part of the mother member of this family... there's no way I'd have even dreamed this up, let alone promised it as an actual activity) party for the boys to get re-acquainted with their friends after our year away in Wilmore, Kentucky. We actually moved back to Lima in May 2007, so Aimee was overdue. In any event my lawn was filled with sprinklers, small inflatable pools, an inflatable water-slide, and a dangerously slippery trampoline. One kid called our little mini-water park a "kid paradise". We wrapped up the day with an outdoor movie of our own ("Bee Movie", largely cause we own it and it was here) which many parents showed up to view. Fortunately, outside of a few scrapes and fat lip, nobody was seriously injured or drowned. Everything has recovered but my backyard. For one day, we were the "cool parents". Go figure.
2) The Buckeye/Raider cottage is really something to behold. It can easily sleep the Bucher family (all six of us), and still leave unoccupied beds for other temporary residents. The cottage is air-conditioned (although the weather, after a storm on Monday morning, made its use unnecessary), has every amenity a person might need, and comes complete with an X-Box located in a huge family room (done in Ohio State memorabilia). It's also largely kid-proofed (although I'm sure the Buckeye/Raider clan arrived Friday wondering why certain items were on top of the refrigerator. Answer: Eli the Destroyer) as they have two elementary-school aged daughters of their own. In any event, the digs were outstanding.
3) The lake is located about 15-20 minutes south of Coldwater, Michigan which boasts, in no particular order:
- Allen's Drive-In: The best place for root beer floats or any one of fifty different flavored milk-shakes in the world.
- Dutch Uncle Donuts: I have yet to eat a bad donut. These guys helped continue that streak.
- Northwoods Coffee Company: This place is everything an independent coffeehouse should be. Located in a renovated downtown building, the decor combines the charm of Middle America with an Alaskan moose lodge. Not to mention the coffee is out of this world. My daily stop to begin the day.
4) The Buckeye/Raider cottage also sports two jet skis and one pontoon boat for the enjoyment of the temporary residents. Unfortunately, on Sunday, I learned a number of Michigan's boating laws the hard way.
It was a beautiful day on the lake. Hot, sunny, clear..... the boat traffic was pretty heavy. About 4:30pm the boys wanted me to pull them in a raft behind a jet ski. Not a problem. We'd done it a number of times. I noticed though as we pulled away from the dock, that unlike earlier that afternoon, Rose Lake was empty. I mean E-M-P-T-Y. Just two other jet skis and us. Two jet skis that were identical. Ridden my men dressed identically, meaning they were either pizza delivery guys on boats, FABULOUS pizzas delivery guys on boats, or Branch County Deputy Sheriffs.
Guess who they turned out to be?
Apparently, which had I actually read one of the numerous boating law guidebooks at the cottage I would have known, you are not allowed to tow anything behind a boat if the boat itself doesn't have "a spotter" facing the towed apparatus... meaning there needed to be two people on jet ski. I was just using the rear view mirrors on the jet ski to keep my eyes on the Max and Xave. I was both driving and spotting.
Did you know you could be fined for not having a spotter? Me either. Now I know.
5) My misadventure Sunday afternoon with a very nice deputy (who is a High School teacher the other nine months of the year he isn't educating dumb tourists via tickets about Michigan's boating laws) though led me to an unexpected encounter the next day at the Branch County Courthouse. While I waited at the window for the clerk to process my fine, I saw a woman with an honest-to-goodness coffee-can-lid-sized pentagram tattoo on the side of her neck. It was unbelievable. My father-in-law once told me that you should never get a tattoo in a place that can't be hidden from a judge. Let's just say that this lady needed one serious turtleneck to make that happen. I overheard enough her discussion with her lawyer(?) to realize that she was well acquainted with the folks at the Branch County Courthouse. On my way out, I told her how striking her tattoo was. Her response...
"It gives me (how can I make this up) all the power of the underworld, which is why I will prevail here today."
Ummmm... right. The look on her lawyer's face as she said this was a cross between "I wish I had gotten that I.T. degree" and "I think somebody ate my cat". And who knows, by the looks of things, maybe somebody had.
I called Brother Esq to tell him about it later. His response...
"I'm a lawyer who does defense work. I see that stuff every day. You gotta get out of that church of yours a little more."
Not worth the entire cost of the fine.... but close.
(Gotta go on a mission of mercy. I'll post the other five things later today.)
1) Although it technically occurred before we left, the "Midsummer Bucher Brothers Bash" was a hit. 32 (maybe.... we aren't sure, which gives you an idea of how many little kids were here) kids showed up at our house for a long-promised (on the part of the mother member of this family... there's no way I'd have even dreamed this up, let alone promised it as an actual activity) party for the boys to get re-acquainted with their friends after our year away in Wilmore, Kentucky. We actually moved back to Lima in May 2007, so Aimee was overdue. In any event my lawn was filled with sprinklers, small inflatable pools, an inflatable water-slide, and a dangerously slippery trampoline. One kid called our little mini-water park a "kid paradise". We wrapped up the day with an outdoor movie of our own ("Bee Movie", largely cause we own it and it was here) which many parents showed up to view. Fortunately, outside of a few scrapes and fat lip, nobody was seriously injured or drowned. Everything has recovered but my backyard. For one day, we were the "cool parents". Go figure.
2) The Buckeye/Raider cottage is really something to behold. It can easily sleep the Bucher family (all six of us), and still leave unoccupied beds for other temporary residents. The cottage is air-conditioned (although the weather, after a storm on Monday morning, made its use unnecessary), has every amenity a person might need, and comes complete with an X-Box located in a huge family room (done in Ohio State memorabilia). It's also largely kid-proofed (although I'm sure the Buckeye/Raider clan arrived Friday wondering why certain items were on top of the refrigerator. Answer: Eli the Destroyer) as they have two elementary-school aged daughters of their own. In any event, the digs were outstanding.
3) The lake is located about 15-20 minutes south of Coldwater, Michigan which boasts, in no particular order:
- Allen's Drive-In: The best place for root beer floats or any one of fifty different flavored milk-shakes in the world.
- Dutch Uncle Donuts: I have yet to eat a bad donut. These guys helped continue that streak.
- Northwoods Coffee Company: This place is everything an independent coffeehouse should be. Located in a renovated downtown building, the decor combines the charm of Middle America with an Alaskan moose lodge. Not to mention the coffee is out of this world. My daily stop to begin the day.
4) The Buckeye/Raider cottage also sports two jet skis and one pontoon boat for the enjoyment of the temporary residents. Unfortunately, on Sunday, I learned a number of Michigan's boating laws the hard way.
It was a beautiful day on the lake. Hot, sunny, clear..... the boat traffic was pretty heavy. About 4:30pm the boys wanted me to pull them in a raft behind a jet ski. Not a problem. We'd done it a number of times. I noticed though as we pulled away from the dock, that unlike earlier that afternoon, Rose Lake was empty. I mean E-M-P-T-Y. Just two other jet skis and us. Two jet skis that were identical. Ridden my men dressed identically, meaning they were either pizza delivery guys on boats, FABULOUS pizzas delivery guys on boats, or Branch County Deputy Sheriffs.
Guess who they turned out to be?
Apparently, which had I actually read one of the numerous boating law guidebooks at the cottage I would have known, you are not allowed to tow anything behind a boat if the boat itself doesn't have "a spotter" facing the towed apparatus... meaning there needed to be two people on jet ski. I was just using the rear view mirrors on the jet ski to keep my eyes on the Max and Xave. I was both driving and spotting.
Did you know you could be fined for not having a spotter? Me either. Now I know.
5) My misadventure Sunday afternoon with a very nice deputy (who is a High School teacher the other nine months of the year he isn't educating dumb tourists via tickets about Michigan's boating laws) though led me to an unexpected encounter the next day at the Branch County Courthouse. While I waited at the window for the clerk to process my fine, I saw a woman with an honest-to-goodness coffee-can-lid-sized pentagram tattoo on the side of her neck. It was unbelievable. My father-in-law once told me that you should never get a tattoo in a place that can't be hidden from a judge. Let's just say that this lady needed one serious turtleneck to make that happen. I overheard enough her discussion with her lawyer(?) to realize that she was well acquainted with the folks at the Branch County Courthouse. On my way out, I told her how striking her tattoo was. Her response...
"It gives me (how can I make this up) all the power of the underworld, which is why I will prevail here today."
Ummmm... right. The look on her lawyer's face as she said this was a cross between "I wish I had gotten that I.T. degree" and "I think somebody ate my cat". And who knows, by the looks of things, maybe somebody had.
I called Brother Esq to tell him about it later. His response...
"I'm a lawyer who does defense work. I see that stuff every day. You gotta get out of that church of yours a little more."
Not worth the entire cost of the fine.... but close.
(Gotta go on a mission of mercy. I'll post the other five things later today.)
Friday, July 18, 2008
A Short Hiatus for Some R&R (and a quick good-bye)
After a long, but good year, and a party yesterday that featured 30+ (you know it's a lot of kids when you never got a solid number on how many were there) kids in our backyard for the first-ever "Midsummer Bucher Brothers Bash", we're off for some family time on a small lake somewhere north. Hope all is well with you as we bask in the sun, do a little wave-running, and see how fast Eric the Buckeye's pontoon boat will go in open water.
Also, the Yunkers will be the third and final P&G family we'll be losing at Shawnee United this summer. Tara and the kids are slated to move to suburban Cinci the beginning of August, and Tim will follow in October. May you, as well as the Richards and Patricks, be blessed as you begin this new season. You will all be greatly missed.
I'll be back in the blogosphere before you know it. Ten days to two-weeks, TOPS! Until then, have a nice July.
Also, the Yunkers will be the third and final P&G family we'll be losing at Shawnee United this summer. Tara and the kids are slated to move to suburban Cinci the beginning of August, and Tim will follow in October. May you, as well as the Richards and Patricks, be blessed as you begin this new season. You will all be greatly missed.
I'll be back in the blogosphere before you know it. Ten days to two-weeks, TOPS! Until then, have a nice July.
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