Thursday, February 14, 2008

(Lame) Kids of the Future

I know right now I should be working, but I have a more important task at hand. If you remember, I have to load music onto a MP3 player we bought for Max, our son whose ninth birthday is Saturday. Thanks to leads provided by many of you, I've been educating myself about "tween" music. I had no idea who Aly and AJ, Vanessa Hudgens, Hannah Montana, and Jonas Brothers were until I took a little trip to Radio Disney's web site... now I do.

Because I listen to music whenever I'm in the office, I started subscribing to an online music service about two years. Thus, at the click of button I can go listen to these "artists", choose which songs I want, and download them for my own personal use. So I decide to start with the Jonas Brothers (i.e. Hanson 2.0) and I put on their album. I'm not really listening to it, cause, well... you know... it blows, when out of nowhere I hear a song that's very familiar. It's an 80's song... but wait a minute - the words are different. When I first heard that tune (which was the first time I saw Kim Wilde's video back when MTV played videos and not the NC-17 reality shows they show now) it was called "Kids In America". And, in typical 80's fashion, the lyrics were pretty vapid but the tune was catchy, chock full of cheesy 80's synth. Here's the video, and the lyrics:

Looking out a dirty old window
Down below the cars in the
City go rushing by
I sit here alone
And I wonder why

Friday night and everyones moving
I can fell the heat
But its shooting
Heading down
I search for the beat in this dirty town

Down town the young ones are going
Down town the young ones are growing

Chorus :

Were the kids in america (x 2)
Everybody live for the music-go-round

Bright lights the music gets faster
Look boy, dont check on your watch
Not another glance
Im not leaving now, honey not a chance

Hot-shot, give me no problems
Much later baby youll be saying never mind
You know life is cruel, life is never kind

Kind hearts dont make a new story
Kind hearts dont grab any glory


Come closer, honey thats better
Got to get a brand new experience
Feeling right
Oh dont try to stop baby
Hold me tight

Outside a new day is dawning
Outside sububias sprawling everywhere
I dont want to go baby
New york to east california
Theres a new wave coming I warn you


Were the kids
Were the kids
Were the kids in america

Not exactly Shakespeare. Always loved the lyric, "From New York to East California / There's a A New Wave Coming I Warn Ya". Sorry LA. Sorry San Francisco. The New Wave is only to reach Fresno. The rest of you are just out of luck.

I always had the sense that the person who wrote the song spoke English as a second language. Considering I just watched another video (scroll to the bottom) of some French version of a combination of "Solid Gold" and "American Idol", where Kim Wilde was interviewed in French after singing the song, I could be right. Just a cheesy little tune that once you get it in your head, you can't get it out all that easily.

But, as I'm listening to these Jonas Brothers, it occurs me... the tune is the same, but the lyrics are different. Here are the Brothers Jonas, and their lyrics:

We're the kids
We're the kids
We're the kids of the future [x2]

Standing on a dirty, old rooftop
Down below the cars in the city go rushing by
I sit here alone and I wonder why

Come on Lewis, keep moving forward
Hold your head up high
There's no time for looking down
You will not believe where we're going now

Here we go, let me remind you
Look ahead, the past is behind you

[All Three]
We're the kids of the future, whoa!
We're the kids of the future, whoa!
Everybody live 'cause the future is now!

Bright lights, boy, look around you
Your imagination is working overtime
The world that you've dreamt of has now arrived

Hot shot, the greatest adventure
Is where the family you've searched for
Comes alive
So come meet the Robinsons

Looking for a place you belong to
Looking for a family that wants you

Na-na-na-na-na-na-na, na-na-na-na-na-na
Na-na-na-na-na-na-na, na-na-na-na-na-na

Everyday we have fun me and Wilbur
So happy to be here with the Robinsons
I finally feel I can be someone

Outside a new day is dawning
Outside the demon is rolling everywhere
I know that it's right because

We'll save the future together
This family's forever

Na-na-na-na-na-na-na, na-na-na-na-na-na
Na-na-na-na-na-na-na, na-na-na-na-na-na

[All Three]
We're the kids
We're the kids
We're the kids of the future [x2]

The Jonas Brothers (or more likely, some Disney exec) somehow found a way to butcher a classic 80's tune. They took a little ditty about being young, going out on your own, and feeling like the whole world is front of you, and turned into a 3 minute commercial for Disney cartoon. Apparently the kids of the future are bunch of sellouts.

Max gets the original. No way he's going to become a corporate toady on my watch.

(By the way, I'm selling the naming rights to my blog. Email if you've $100 and a product you're ready to expose to virtually tens of people.)

Here's the French Solid Idol Clip I promised complete with dancing clown cheerleaders on skateboards. Gotta love the French!


Aaron said...

I would send $100 and my picture ... but I'm too shy, shy. Hush, hush. I do I.

bryan said...

All Kajagoogoo references welcome.

Anonymous said...


As one who was raised Baptist, I tend to think in terms of conspiracy theories. That's why I am convinced that the music of the Disney tweens is some sort of audio heroin with subliminal messages backmasked into it. If you can believe Ozzy did it, then why not Hannah Montana? These are not satanic messages per se-they just repeat "buy this vapid crap at any cost" and "Cheetah Girls are waaay cool."

Truthfully, my girls will listen to anything with a beat. They just want to dance. I guess that just goes to prove the message of another 80's Icon. Girls really do just want to have fun; especially with my credit card.

The Clouse

bryan said...

I couldn't agree more. Pretty soon Disney will re-writing sacred tunes like "Photograph", "Dancing On the Ceiling", "Material Girl", "Cruel Summer" and "I Ran" so that your daughters will pester you to buy albums from a little teenage girl who will, in only a few short years, will be caught by the paparazzi wearing no underwear. Makes me glad I have boys. They don't want my credit card (yet)... they just want to physically beat down their Dad into submission, proving their own alpha maleness.

Anonymous said...

The real question is when will you introduce your son to your beloved Blue Oyster Cult?

Aimee said...

I have that dumb song stuck in my head now. And all I know is the chorus! Thanks Aaron. ;)

Anonymous said...

The 80s had classic music? I must have missed that tune....:)