Back in the days when I blogged, I used to do this gimmick I ripped off from a NFL reporter from Sports Illustrated, back when people read magazines, where I'd hammer out ten random thoughts. Thought I'd do that today, for reasons that will become obvious.
1) It was announced today that my son, Xavier, will be the Instrumental Music Director for the Ayersville Local Schools. I can't say that this is his first "real" job, because he had to go to basic training at Fort Jackson in order to serve in the 122nd Army Band. Seems like that's as grown up a job training as someone could go through. But it is his first full-time position in music education, as he nears graduation from Bowling Green State University in two weeks. Congrats Xavier. Dad loves you and is very proud of you.
And for the rest of my kids reading this, I am inordinately proud of all of you. Love each of you with all my heart. In fact, if you're in Pittsburgh tomorrow night (Sunday, April 19th, 2026), go see "Andy Boy and the Keys to the City". The bass guitarist laying down that phat groove, if my daughter! Love those music loving Bucher kids!
2) I reposted this announcement about Xave on my Facebook page, and the first one to like it was Jonna Maggert. Jonna was a neighbor of ours on Yorktown Drive when we lived in Goshen. For those who didn't know, Xavier was born at home, underwater, in a birthing tub, with a midwife, and a doula. Jonna came over during the birth to keep an eye on our eldest, Aerica, who was three at the time, and slept through her brother's birth next door in the guest bedroom. Jonna was the first our friends and neighbors to hold Xavie. Such a long time ago, and yet it seems like only yesterday. We had great friends in that season of life. Still treasure them all.
3) I'm writing cause it's not just Xavier, and all my kids for that matter, making their way into adult hood. the has me all reflective. This morning I attended the funeral for Eric Dill, who as a teen was active in the first ministry job I ever had as the Youth Director at Shawnee UMC. They hired me when I was 22 years old. For the record, I'd never hire a 22 year old youth director. NEVER EVER!!! The brain isn't fully functional yet at 22. I now have the stories from that job to prove it. But more about that at another time.
4) Eric has a son, Milo, who is about the same age as Eric was when he tagged along with his friends to UMYF on Sunday nights, 35 years ago. I hope that when he googles his Dad's name, he'll see these rambling thoughts.
5) Eric was the part of a goofy, creative, fun-loving group of friends who grew up together in Shawnee during the 80's and 90's. I never heard him say much, but when he did speak up at youth group or a church camp activity or on one of our many ski trips to Boyne Highlands, he was quick and funny. You didn't want to miss what he had to say because it was often one of those so-sneakily-funny-your-coffee-you-were-drinking-could-fly-out-your-nose observations that would be both absurd, and true. That was Eric as a teenager... pretty much just like the rest of his friends. They were a joy to get to serve as a pastor.
6) My one lasting memory of Eric was that in 95 or 96, the youth group was offered the opportunity to serve regularly once a month at a local soup kitchen. Located in part of Lima notoriously known as the "Snake Pit", the couple running Our Daily Bread lived in Spencerville, and since they were not young, tried to find people to run the soup kitchen on Sundays so they could get a day off. I'm not sure how they found the Shawnee UMYF, or the UMYF found them, but in short order, a young woman, Nikki Helser - probably a high school junior - volunteered to go open the facility, and get things going before the rest of the volunteers from the youth group showed up to do the serving on the fourth Sunday of the month (or whatever it was). That was teenagers, opening, running, serving, and cleaning up at soup kitchen. If adults volunteered to be there, they were just there as support. Those kids ran that show.
7) As you might recall, this neighborhood was called the "Snake Pit". It was not the nicest or safest part of town, and even early on Sunday morning the idea of sending a teenager alone to get the place going didn't seem wise - even in the nineties. I don't know how it happened, but Eric volunteered to go with Nikki to help her. I don't recall him normally waking up willingly, early on the weekend if he didn't have to, but for whatever reason he set his alarm to help Nikki. They did this for quite some time. Months, at least. Maybe at least a year. I'm getting older now, and it's all running together, the twelve years I worked in youth ministry. But the kid I'm sure everyone described as "a little bit goofy" volunteered to serve those who most likely had limited options for Sunday lunch.
He had a big heart.
8) And I guess that's really the image of Eric I carry. I'm told that the end of his life was difficult. That he struggled with mental health issues. But at the funeral this morning, his friends and their families from their school days all showed up to offer love and support to Eric's wife and son. Such is the love and concern that this group of kids have for one another, and others.
9) I saw Eric over the years occasionally. I met his lovely wife, Joanne at Matt and Kristian Parish's wedding, which I officiated in the same backyard Dill and his friends tried to harm one another, jumping on a trampoline covered filled 2-liter bottles they tried to pop off mat into, ideally, a part of the body that shouldn't get clocked with a bottle of water (Torpedo Dad's... named after the root beer). I overheard him during the rehearsal lecturing one of the gang, Tyler, about becoming more responsible, which gives you an idea how he had grown into an adult.
10) The last time I saw him was in Nashville, nine years ago. My wife had just left me, and our family was as broken as could be. Seized with guilt and remorse, I tried to show the kids extra attention, which resulted, in part, of us driving to Nashville to see Xavier's favorite bands - TWRP and Ninja Sex Party.
I am grateful that my kids had quirky, creative groups of friends who helped sustain them through the Shawnee Local Schools, just like Dill and his friends a few decades ago. Creative kids, often listening to music I didn't understand, only decades apart. Xavier, Aerica, and whoever else was there, insisted on arriving to the venue four hours early to be close to the stage.
During that time, I called one of those old UMYF kids living there, and asked if there was any place for good food I could pick up and bring back to my tribe. I ended up meeting Matt and Kristina, Eric and Joanne at a local taco place. And it was there I first met Marsden Parish and Milo Dill. Toddlers, whose parents were beaming over them. I was having a hard time keeping myself together during those difficult days, but I was humbled and honored that Matt and Dill wanted me to meet their kids.
Looking back on it now, we don't always get the happy ending. In fact, most endings are pretty bad, or there would be no end. But you treasure the good memories you make along the way, remembering that while life can batter and bruise us, it is the love we have for each other - sometimes buried underneath the muck - that sustains us.
Keep loving one another. Pastor B.
