Top Ten Things You Never Want To Hear Your Minister Say

(For this week's "Ten Things...", see the next post)

10) ...but I did not inhale.

9) That's the end of the first hour of our sermon.

8) ...and Lord, let the Bengals cover the spread today. Amen.

7) Your wife is hot!

6) Welcome our new worship pastor, Sven Jurgensen - world champion yodeler.

5) Never in my wildest dreams did I think it would catch on fire.

4) Can you come down here and post my bail?

3) We've made a little adjustment in they way we've structured our trust fund investments, so say a little prayer for "Santa's Little Helper" in the 9th at Belmont.

2) Today's sermon comes out of the marital counseling session I had with the Jones on Wednesday. You are not going to believe this...

1) Yeah... Jesus was pretty good too.